I Never Wanted to Live Without You
by ladyinblack08
Summary: When Levi had the balls to propose and marry Hanji Zoe, they were both happier than what they have expected and found their love getting stronger. But not all marriages are perfect as they face a horrible past sin and found themselves struggling to keep their marriage alive.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:**** I Never Wanted to Live without You**

**Author's Notes:**

This is planned to be a oneshot, being a sequel to the first one which is the Because Proposing is Fucking Hard and Complicated but failed and turned out to be longer so I have no choice but to cut it into chapters.

Do enjoy reading, I hope.

-x-

Getting married was something Levi didn't really expect to happen in his life. But marrying someone who loved him over anything else, even their own life was not something he had foreseen. Most importantly, he didn't think that it would be Hanji.

He was anxious, confused and even scared of asking her to be married to him before, but the moment that Hanji was the one who caught the wedding flower that Nanaba threw during their wedding ceremony and Hanji was first very surprised when she caught the bouquet of flowers as it landed on her hands when she was just there, watching Nanaba and Mike and is about to take a seat with Levi.

At that sudden moment, Levi immediately felt nervous- feeling that they should immediately get married too right after Mike and Nanaba immediately. Part of him says that he is ready when the other tells him that he isn't yet.

Mike and Nanaba's wedding was done during the month of December, since missions will be less compared to other months. In that same month is Levi's birthday. After the wedding of Mike and Nanaba, Hanji was too excited to think about her and Levi's wedding which they decided to have in the following spring of the following year, which will be in a few months to come, almost four to five months at most. That's going to be a very short time to prepare, Levi thought.

Fortunately, Hanji is not much into big ceremonies. Only a handful members of the Recon Corps were invited to their wedding and even simpler compared to Mike and Nanaba's. Their wedding were attended by their families and a lot number of people from the Recon Corps, a bit flowery since the girls wears flower crowns and the entire place has lots of flowers, not just any ordinary garden and the guys were all in formal attire. Theirs were more livelier and loud, more alive compared to Levi and Hanji's which were attended only of the very few of Hanji's remaining family and relatives came to attend which is only about a number ten and none of Levi's and very few from the Recon Corps like both of their squad, Erwin, Mike and Nanaba's squad.

Hanji was able to wear her mother's white long gown, her hair curled and falling down to her exposed shoulders while her body was seen in more of a feminine way, making her look like a total new person to everyone around. Even Levi was surprised by her looks and had him feel even more nervous but at the same time, happy and excited to be her husband once they were already in front of each other, exchanging vows. It may be simple but everyone still had fun and were able to share the happiness of the newlyweds.

But there are no perfect relationships and marriages after all.

-x-

Getting married to each other made them discover, learn and analyze more about their relationship, most especially that they moved into a little house of their own, not that far in the HQ of the Recon Corps so Hanji can still manage to do her researches and experiments in her bigger laboratory there.

They learned how to be more patient towards each other, communicating more often and even more wild sex since they are sure that no one is going to barge in or bother them the least. They were able to expound and explore more on how to have their sex lives even hotter than usual, making them crave for each other's touch, doing it at least once or thrice a month so they'll miss eating each other even for once.

Mike is right. Levi feels beyond happy about getting married to Hanji. Levi goes home being welcomed by Hanji, making dinner for him and greeting him with a warm kiss, asking him always how his day was. He was surprised by this sudden change of hers since she is always a night owl, staying up all night just for her endless studies, researches and experiments but now, she learned how to adjust and cut her time just to be home early make dinner for Levi. She even tries to clean their home before he arrives, even if it's not yet that clean from Levi's view but he still does appreciate it a lot.

In weekdays, they tend to cook together, plant and grow some veggies, plants and flowers in their garden, clean the house, have a nap together and even have a sweet long conversations with a cup of coffee or some chocolate milk, filling each other some news that they were not able to talk or share about to each other during the weekdays.

Hanji adored each hug that will surprise her when Levi seems to sneak around the house, especially when she is cooking or cleaning. He had never such things before, but she does adore it ever since he learned to do such thing for her. He would even arrive with some handpicked flowers for her when he gets home really, really late, just to make her feel less worried.

Levi was a great help towards Hanji's plan makings for the Recon Corps, guiding her and giving her insights, forming better plots and strategies for them all, most especially that Hanji was declared the new Danchou, not even a year after getting married which made her even more busy. Thus, having Levi guide her with their plans for the Corps, she just felt that she was not just a Danchou but also like their mother as Levi has become their father, protecting them all under titan's threats. He didn't worry of any gossips that he is under his wife orders, in fact, he loved it whenever his wife is _on top of him _ what they both loved the most as they discuss the Recon Corps's plans and projects is when they discuss it after having sex, Hanji still on bed half cover by bedsheets as Levi sat on a chair in front of her wearing only an open shirt, holding the papers, reading it and then giving feedbacks to Hanji. It's a new thing for them, a new way to share time with each other. It's like serious and romantic, that's why Hanji cannot help but adore it everytime they do such thing.

He would even comb her hair when she's reading during long hours, which they rarely do because they are always on call when they were still residing in the HQ. They would still get to bath together when they have time and Levi is still a great help when Hanji needs a scrub on her back.

Hanji even learned massaging when she found a book by the bench when she was out for grocery shopping that no one tried to get back and find herself crawling at the back of Levi at night, giving him massages that made his body feel away from any kind of soreness, ending up falling asleep as Hanji will steal a kiss from him before getting to sleep as well. She was also great in giving him some hand or arm and shoulder massages, something that he really loved to have after being on a mission.

The two of them even goes out to the village just to have some grocery shopping and have some time to eat to some eatery there, just to do and try something different. Hanji learned how to improve her stitching abilities as Levi learned how to bake for her so she can eat something whenever she's on her laboratory busy with things.

When rain starts to pour down or even when the weather gets cold, they find the two of themselves lying by each other's arms, sometimes, legs tangled beside their fire place, keeping themselves warm. They may do some of the things all over and over again but they never get tired of it, and loved to do it all the time to each other.

They learned how to trust and depend on each other even better, feeling each other even when they are far and sensing if there's something wrong to one another, most especially when they are on a mission or if one of them is tasked to do something that doesn't require the other's help.

Levi never thought of developing this kind of strong relationship, most especially with Hanji who seemed to have only science as her world. They didn't had any gender role kind of relationship, respecting each other, doing each other's roles in the household alternately as they are bound to love and care for one another.

What made things better is that whenever they see each other's hand, most especially being intertwined, the two of them were reminded and confident enough that they'll be together no matter what and nothing will ever separate them from each other.

Or that's what they thought.

Missions started a month after their wedding, learning to keep it as part of their married lives. It didn't seem to bother them since going out on a mission has been a part of their lives ever since, they just felt even more yearning and concern towards each other whenever they go outside the walls, continuously asking some of the other younger members if Levi is alright, same goes to Hanji.

As they thought that they were living their happy married life, things started to go downhill.

It was their nth mission outside the walls and they were about to back in the district of Trost and the rain was pouring real hard, almost zero visibility and flood in other places that they are passing through seems to have a possibility of happening. Fortunately, only a number of ten of the entire Recon Corps were reported to have been killed. Even if it was a very minimal number which they should be happy about, everyone still cannot get rid of the horrible feeling of losing a member.

This is what made Levi do something risky. He is usually one of the back part of their pillar as they go back, trying to make sure no titans can manage to get within them anymore. The moment that they were able to pass the last forest on their way back home, a wagon where the injured were resting suddenly flipped over in some dip mud hole while the wagon's horses were already released from their ropes that is holding them.

It doesn't look great, most especially that there are a couple of titans making its way to them. Great, just great. He was just planning inside his head as they go back of what dinner he should prepare for Hanji since she made a great meal before they were bound to go to this mission of theirs, and have some great hot sizzilin' shower sex right after dinner.

But now he should focus on how to finish this shit up.

"Shit." Levi muttered, and immediately made his way up to the wagon.

Looking at the titan's figures, he could see that they only have three minutes or less to get everyone out of the wagon and get extra horses so they can move on.

He quickly fired a yellow colored flare, signaling the emergency help that they needed as the Erd who was just near him, fired a red flare, signaling for the titans and alarm the others in front. They wouldn't give a shit about the red flare since they are already nearing the walls and could just outrun the titans but the yellow one caught their attention.

And Hanji saw that yellow flare.

She knows she shouldn't but she is still concerned, but the thought of Levi being there bothered her the most. She knows that Levi could manage anything there, but her heart is telling her something else. She feels nervous, even with her strong will of not thinking anything bad, she just can't stop feeling bad about her members in there, mostly which her husband is in there.

"Hanji Danchou!" Moblit shouted as she stopped and turned her horse back, even if it's not her duty to turn back and let the others do the emergency handling there, she still did, following her hearts beatings.

"I'll be alright Moblit!" But Moblit still followed her, contrasting the direction of the others.

She can swear that her body is trembling and if it's not for the heavy rain, she could pretty well tell that she is sweating ice cold.

"Levi..." she muttered under her breath, convincing herself that her beloved husband is going to be alright.

And at that very moment, Levi was already grabbing the hands of the injured who were now drowning of the mud that they have fallen into. Levi and Erd were surprised enough to see that the hole was to huge, taking in too much water and mud and can't believe that all the injured fell inside of it.

"Heichou, we need to hurry." Erd muttered, breathing heavily.

"Help me have our horses pull the wagon as we lift it so they can go out of the fucking hole" Levi said as he is already trying to bind a rope on the wagon and instructing his horse to pull it forward.

The injured were already making their way out as Levi managed to push the wagon upward out of the pesky deep shit hole as Erd was helping the injured, grabbing them one by one.

Much to their dismay, the titans were already on their way, and just a very very few feets away from them as the injured were feeling panicky since no one seemed to turned their horses back and they're in no condition to run back to the walls alone.

"I'll fuck the titans! Go fire some more flares so they'll fucking realize we need more horses damn it! Run after them Erd and get some fucking help!" Levi then grabbed his 3DMG and prepared to fight the titans coming their way, closing his eyes as he remembered how he lost Isabel and Farlan that unfortunate day, too rainy just like this one.

When Erd tries to calm down the injured and grabbed his horse so he can manage to get back and get some help, he saw Hanji and Moblit ran passed by him.

"Danchou!"

"Erd thank goodness!" Hanji was relieved to see Erd alive, meaning Levi is just as alive as he is, but seeing him not with Levi still made her feel nervous.

"Heichou is trying to kill some titans and told me to go get some help, nobody seemed to have seen our yellow flare because of this very heavy rain and he is with some injured, needing horses since the wagon is no longer accessible." Erd really didn't like the idea of living Levi alone but he has no other options.

"Alright, the last ones were just not that far, tell them you need some horses and go back there with Levi, immediately!" and she ran off. Moblit head turned to Erd, thinking he should give him assistance but thought that he could do it on his own so he dashed with Hanji once again.

"LEVI!" Hanji can't believe of what she is seeing.

A number of injured were trying to slash the titans on their feet, being able to run away from their grips, sliding, thanks to the help of the rain as Levi is being held up by eight meter titan, biting his right leg and the other seven class titan, biting his left arm, tearing his ligaments, shouting in agony, breaking Hanji's heart.

She immediately took off and slashed the titan's napes all in just one shot, something she had never done before, but seeing his husband dying, being eaten alive is not a good sight as Moblit helped the injured deal with the other titans.

"Levi!?" Hanji ran to Levi who feels into the muddy soft ground, eyes blank and staring to her.

Tears were flowing endlessly to her serene face, as she feels so nervous and scared all at the same time. She can't be seeing this. For all the time that she had been the Danchou, she always managed to keep Levi alive no matter what.

Blood was going out of his arm and leg so fast that Hanji torn her green uniform and immediately covered Levi's half arm as Moblit immediately covered Levi's leg.

Hanji was crying on the top her lungs, shouting, screaming in pain. "Levi please don't go okay!? You're going to be alright, okay? You'll be alright." She gave him a very quick kiss on the lips as she tried to touch his forehead, giving him little bit strength and focus and get his shit back together.

Erd was back very quick with five horses in hand and some men in their horses. Together, they managed to reuse the wagon, place Levi inside as Hanji went along and had the horses pull the wagon with the injured inside too, helping Hanji calm the fuck down and shit.

"What had happened?" Hanji asked, sobbing as she holds Levi's right hand, caressing it.

"Our wagon fell in that deep hole and we all nearly died of drowning but Levi Heichou and Erd tried to help us as they attached their horses on the wagon and have it pulled." One of the injureds started.

"When we all managed to get out, Levi Heichou asked Erd to go get some help since the flare seems to be useless and started killing the titans." Added by the other as they witness how their Danchou cries in pain, holding the hand of her lover.

"But I was still inside, and when I shouted for help, Levi Heichou immediately run to me, lifted the wagon" said of an injured rookie, feeling guilty. Hanji's heart even felt broken hearing that her husband tries his best to keep everyone alive and forbid the increase the number of death in the Corps.

But the other injured finished the unfortunate story. "He was too b-busy trying to push-lifting the wagon that he didn't saw a deviant type lunge into him." He no longer had theheart to continue since he is quite sure that Hanji knew what had happened next.

Hanji can't find the strength to crack a joke or something to make the kids calm down too and feel less guilty of what had happened, and made her even terrible because of it.

Hanji's eyes returned to Levi, whose eyes are now closed, breathing deeply but a bit fast, hushing him, saying very soft things on his ears, trying to calm him down, knowing that he is fighting and that he is listening.

"Levi, you'll be alright okay?" but he didn't moved. Hanji grasped and caressed his hand even tighter, feeling that he might leave so soon.

"Don't leave me alright? Please?" and then she burst out into another set of sob, crying, tears falling as her voice cracks, not knowing what other things to do for her husband. She can't imagine living the world without Levi.

But Levi can hear her, everything that she mumbles, and he can even feel her heavy scared breathing. Hearing her in pain made him feel more determined to keep himself alive, just for her. He can't imagine her living the world without him. He's too scared to witness Hanji falling in love all over again into some other asshole better than him if ever he dies. And that made him feel alive. He should be there for her and just stay alive no matter what.

_I won't leave you, Shitty Glasses. No matter what. _

-x-

see yah on the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

**Imperfections, Jealousy, Anger, Betrayal **

**-x-**

If the title sounds familiar to you, make a guess where I actually got that from and you win a cookie. (I'll FedEx it to you)

**-x-**

Levi wakes up in an utter very, very different feeling.

He blinks as he sees the ceiling of the infirmary, realizing where he was in. He can't move his body, he feels numb all over and very heavy, and _incomplete, _as though something is wrong within him.

He tried to move his hands and feet, and realized _that _is what made him feel so incomplete. He lost half of his left arm and three-fourths of his right leg. They were all covered in thick bandages and even some part of his body is.

This can't be happening.

He's the World's Strongest Soldier, but the fuck that just happened?

All of a sudden, like a gust of fast wind and of lightning during that night, he remembered. When he was trying to prepare himself to fight the horde of titans coming, under that fucking heavy rain, he heard a gurgling voice still coming from the fallen and sinking wagon. Realizing what it was, he immediately went to save the kid underneath it, not realizing a few titans coming from the other side was already lurking and immediately grabbed him after he was able to pull the kid out. But the rain made him unable to move, just too slippery to properly balance himself and even had some of the watered soil turn into thick mud. There were four fucking titans about to eat them alive and as he moved too poor and running out of time, the giant flesh eaters were able to lunge on him, grab him and bit his arm and leg just even before someone was able to kill those titans as his flesh was slowly being pulled out from his very body, bones crushing, tear painfully as he screamed in pure pain and agony. He did recalled shouting in horrible pain, the very worse pain that he ever felt in his entire life and most of all, it's all _too slow, _too hard to endure.

"Hey…"

It was Hanji, and her eyes were very red from crying. She managed to change her clothes into a plain shirt and some pants. She's shaking as she opened the door, trembling like she was the world's saddest woman. Levi suddenly found himself having a hard time to breathe; he never wanted to witness Hanji crying, most especially if he is the reason why she's crying.

She approached him, as he can't say anything, no words coming out from his slightly opened mouth. His breathing hard, nostrils flared.

"Levi…." She muttered as she approached him, crawled on top of him, careful not to hurt him or even put her whole weight on him. She looked into his eyes, tears falling and she immediately wiped them as she tried to put on a smile, making her feel like some scary lunatic whose mouth is shaky and is about to put on a horrible laugh.

"You look like a total shit, Hanji" and then her forceful smile was gone and was changed by dam of tears as she hugged Levi carefully by the neck, feeling like he is some kind of huge teddy bear being wrestled by Hanji as she settled carefully on top of him.

Her hug was a huge thing for him, feeling alive now and complete once again, a feeling that she alone can only give to him. It bothered him to see her cry like hell again though.

"I was so scared Levi…" she whispered onto his ear, not letting go of him.

"I thought I'd never see you again." Hanji caressed his hair as her nose nuzzled his face. Levi moved his head and gave her a small, weak kiss on the cheek.

"That's the most inaccurate hypothesis of yours that I've ever heard." Hanji let out a small laugh and took another light kiss from his mouth.

"You're blood were spilling so fast I thought you'll die of blood loss." She managed to smile, but tears were still in her eyes. And then he remembered the time that he was so scared when Hanji was flown through the air by a deviant titan, sending her and Moblit into some rocky grounds as she hit her head and scratch her face badly by the rocks. Levi's heart was beating so fast that time that he thought he was already having a palpitation. He knows that what Hanji is feeling right now too.

"Well, I didn't." He wanted to hold her waist and pull her closer to him for another hug for a tighter one but only had his right arm clung into her waist as the left managed to only land on it, not being able to hold her waist entirely. Levi felt stupid and awkward that he frowned and tried again. He wanted to pull her close to him so bad.

Realizing what he wanted to do, Hanji smiled, let his still perfect right hand hold her left waist as she hold his severely damaged left arm by her right hand and smiled to him.

"Nothing will change Levi, nothing will change" she murmurs to him as she played her fingers on hhis hair as she hugs him lightly, making them both feel a little better.

Seeing how she held his left, incomplete arm and his right hand on her waist made him shudder. It looks fucking disturbing and just wrong. He can't believe that it happened to him.

"Yeah, and I thought that this is some shitty dream." Hanji kissed his cheek and continued to caress his arms, tracing them like she always does.

"You lost one third of your entire blood Levi" her voice changed from the sudden cheeriness into a dead and low one. "I feared you might never make it" she whispered in his ear again, hugging him sweetly tighter.

_That just happened to me? _He never thought such a thing could possibly happen to him too. He didn't said anything anymore since he knew perfectly that Hanji told him that he is still human and capable of getting ripped apart by a titan, that she was right about being kept reminded. He looked at her eyes, grabbed her hair by his right hand as ahe pulled him closer, having her forehead glued to his and shut his eyes.

"I thought I won't be able to stuck my tongue into your mouth again" A small smile crept onto Hanji's face as Levi whispered that to her ear, sending shivers into her spine. She knew what he means _more than just that._

"Are you sure? Or you just might missed being inside me all over?" she said in a seductive tone as she brushed her nose to his.

"I just can't imagine though. We might look shit when we do some fucking time together" he smirked, can't believe that she still sees him as a whole and not as a dysfunctional husband.

"Wanna try it right now?" Hanji started to kiss his neck, making him feel like bursting and hard, wanting to torture her with kisses and hard pumping, actually too scared of being taken away or break away from her this very moment.

"Hanj" he muttered. He thought that he'll never be able to say that new nickname that he uses for her, which Hanji finds really adorable and _sweet _of him.

"Hmm?' her breath on his neck made him tremble as her whisper made him want to kiss her harder and start working on _it _at this very moment.

"…you're making me feel _hard_" they stared at each other for a few seconds and Levi started again. "It's not fucking okay Hanj"

"Why?"

"Because I still feel pain allover"

"Oh! Did I hurt you at all? You should've told me earlier!" Hanji thought that she was already placing her weight on himtoo hard that he's already having a hard time keeping her on top of him and moved quickly away from his body when she was stopped by his sudden right hand, gripping on her wrist, not letting her go. She find it amusing that he still have that strength, to think he almost lost all of his blood.

"My broken parts hurts, yeah, but not the other." He gave her a smirk, reassuring her that everything is still okay.

"Alright," she started with her flirtatious voice again, touching his arm down to his leg, making him twitch in such seductive torture of his wife, missing her, fearing he might never kiss or hug her again, enjoy everything and-

Erwin suddenly bursted into the room, opening widely for the other Recon Corps members to see that Hanji is on top of Levi, caressing him.

"Ahhhh." Erwin was so surprised but said it calmly as he gave them a smile, happy to see that Levi is now awake and Hanji already stopped crying. "Sorry about that, Danchou" Erwin gave them a warm smile before closing the door once again at them.

Levi smirked as Hanji returned to nuzzle at her beloved husband's cheek, "What can you say about a cup of tea, heichou?" Levi fixed the way that he was sitting, letting Hanji adjust on top of him and gave her a warm quick kiss on the lips.

"That would be nice, Danchou" and smiled despite some pain that he can feel in some parts of his newly torned body.

-x-

Levi was very beyond happy to feel that his wife sees him as who he still is, and makes him feel that he is not a burden to her and to their marriage life. No matter, even if Hanji succeeds to not making him feel that way, he can still sense and see it. She lost weight and seemed more stressed out, and he can't even help her. From being the new Danchou, her duties doubled as even becoming his wife, her duties to him doubled as swell. He knows perfectly that she can still manage to handle everything but the way he sees her being too tired and shit, he can't feel but even more badly guilty.

From the moment she wakes up, she would prepare their breakfast for tehm both and have it prepared by their bedside table so Levi can have an access to it. She would take a bath, fix a couple of things before leaving since Levi can no longer clean the house and whether he won't say it, she knew that letting their house go unclean irritates him. Just placing a few things back to its place or folding a few clothes or even dusting and sweeping the floor lightens them up, him most especially.

If he is already awake, he would watch how his wife roam around their tiny house, trying not to stress out, giving her best to give him a smile and assuring him that she is and everything is alright. Hanji forbids him to say it but it sure sucks not to move and help around, feeling helpless at all cost. Hanji would share breakfast with him, feeding him as she place a spoon on his mouth rather fast since she is quite in a hurry but still wanted to attend to him.

"I can eat on my own you know," he once told her, "My right arm is still fucking perfect" waving his hand in front of her face.

"Yeah but I have to make sure that you really ate and properly well, you short sexy butt" giving him a quick kiss on the lips as she took their plates and bowls to the sink and wash it up. Hanji still has the sanity to pull a few names on him as it never failed to make both of their lips curl into a smile to guarantee that they are still in their normal days and to somehow make him feel okay and less worried about her.

Once everything was already okay, she would leave, as she completes wearing her uniform.

"I'll be back tonight okay?" and gives him a long sweet kiss on the mouth, making his heart ache since he would be alone again once she steps out.

_I love you_ he wished saying to her but would softly say to himself every time, just to show her some gratitude over her eternal love for him even if it's causing her to get tired a lot but he still can't, not even if they're already married. The words makes him feel sick, even if Hanji says it most of the times. Not that he didn't wanted her to hear him say it or he doesn't want her to hear it coming from him or some other shit, something just bothers him that if he says it to her again, she would get tired of him saying it to her or be reminded of how much he loves her, and he didn't want that to happen.

He did said it before, once actually, when he proposed and softly told her those three sweet tortuing words and he swear that it took all of his strength to say it to her. Not that she doesn't deserved to be bestowed by those three words by him but he fiind those words rather precious and needs to be yearned for and not be mentioned all of the time. She'll just might get tired of hearing it always too. Words are just a bitch. Actions are better for his taste.

But deep inside his very heart, it beats only for her, telling her with every heartbeat that he lives for her, telling her with every heartbeat how much he loves her.

"I promise not to be that late." And waves at him. She was also already cutting her time just to attend him at night once they got married but even have to cut her time at her duties even earlier when he lost his arm and leg. He knows she shouldn't so she can finish more things but she insist, telling him that she can continue it at their home but she never really does since she takes care of him rather than continuing her papers and research. She's sacrificing too much for him when he doesn't seem to have offered anything to her at all.

Seeing his wife getting all stressed out and messy makes him urges to heal his self-up quick and as soon as possible so he could attend his wife's needs and assist her. Even if he doesn't know how exactly since he lost three fourths of his left arm and right leg. The doctors had said that he still can't practice walking or help himself lift up since his wounds are still open and not yet recovering and that if he forces his self to stand up, the wounds just might open again which is not a very nice idea at all.

Levi is not totally left at home all alone since Hanji had assigned some rookies, alternately attending to the late captain and assisting him all around, mostly males so he won't have a hard time if he needs to go to the bathroom.

It was tough shit for him, struggling with his left leg as his right arm balances his upper body. He looks and feels strange, as he can't afford to make a step on his own without any help from anyone, since he can't even take a couple of steps since he only have one foot to do so. Some really fucked up shit he have to endure and he can't even guarantee if he can go back to being normal again.

When he and some attendant were alone in the house, he would sleep like hell as the attendant will help clean the house, most especially if Hanji could no longer clean before leaving and then prepare him some food. Levi would usually ask about how Hanji was doing and the Recon Corps as well but the poor rookies were still too scared to answer him properly even if he looks like an incomplete gingerbread man.

When the night time falls, he would be torn between happiness and worriness since Hanji is about to arrive.

As much as he wanted to tell her that she should spend more time at the lab or on her office, they knew perfectly well that he needs her even more. He waited the entire day without basically doing anything at all just to feel her long embraces, her soft and sweet kisses and heartwarming cuddles. On the opposite side, despite of flashing tons of smiles at him once she gets home, he would still unfortunately witness how troubled and stressed she is from her duties in the Recon Corps, handling meetings, thinking of new strategies and shit for their missions outside the walls, signing papers, checking her men, think about her experiments and research and then, be a full time wife for him. It crushes his heart to see her sweating and panting and trying to wipe it with her bare hands as she opens the door to their room and hugs and kisses him right after. He wished to be more greedy but he can't, he's not the only who needs her but a lot more people as well too.

He loves her too much and he never asked this to happen to him and their marriage too.

"Hey Levi" it was almost nine that she got home and she still need to make dinner for them as she quickly thanked the rookie looking after Levi and sends him off nicely.

"How was your day?" she asked kissing him on the lips and them making her way to the kitchen, not even bothering to remove her uniform.

"Sleep as usual." He replied as his eyes, never leaving her busy form.

"Hmmm."

"How was yours?"

"Well, it's tiring. I just attended to the new members of the Recon Corps from the latest set of trainees and then had a short meeting for the King"

"About what?"

"About our plans for this year with the new recruits" she smiled at him as she looked at him by her shoulder.

It was amazing how she never lose the will to fight and live, even if her husband just got bitten by some oversized freaks, and Levi blurted it out accidentally.

"Why?" Hanji turned around, looking at him as she finishes cooking their dinner. Levi suddenly blurted out his thoughts, and he _regrets _it. He has never known someone capable of such massive love, most especially towards him.

"Why what?"

"Why do you still attend to my needs when you can just ask the rookie to cook and feed me?"

Hanji's smile grew weak. "Because having dinner with my husband is something I couldn't just remove in my schedule and craved for the entire afternoon." He smiled. She's too thoughtful when she can just do whatever it is that she wants and leave him be. Besides, they've had other people to assist him but no. "I always busied myself thinking of what good menu I can cook for you every dinner" and continues with her cooking.

"You're stupid. You know you shouldn't anymore and work is more important." He can't believe that he is saying that but it's the truth, most especially that she is the new Danchou, but not being with her also torments him like hell. But he knew perfectly that she must do her duty before attending to him yet she never did once considered the thought of no longer attending to his needs.

"Aren't you getting tired at all?"

She stopped and approached him slowly when she saw concern and worry is written across his face, seeing that he removed his eyes on her made her come to conclusions that he is feeling guilty about his sudden accident, that he is like another burden for her.

She caressed his cheek and smoothened his hair as she lovingly smiled at him and pressed her nose to his. "No, never. I'll never get tired of you"

"Tch." He shuddered his nose away and looked at the other side where she's not there. How can she even take doing such a thing? "Why, Hanji?" he meets her eyes once again.

"Because you are my husband, you might be forgetting that, Levi. And you alone is my dwarf, sexy butt husband, and even if there'll be thousands of duties I needed to attend to, my duty for you will never be left undone." She stood up and took a last trace on his face. She didn't want it to sound cheesy but that's how she feels and believes in, and there's no other words or way how to tell it to him.

He slowly took her hand and pressed it on his cheek, wanted to be reminded of the warmth that she never fails to give. She's right, he might be forgetting the fact that he is _her_ husband, not just someone who she can easily ignore and forget.

He smiled at her, "dinner might get burned, Four Eyed Wife." And he pulled her down to kiss her lips.

Even if he looks like some man who was just eaten by some jungle freaks, making him feel the most unfortunate man in the world, he just can't seem to think of the unfortunate event with her by his side. Having an awesome and dedicated wife like her still makes him feel that he is blessed more than anyone else.

-x-

It was not long after a few months and Hanji decided that she would need to replace Levi for the mean time in the Corps. She did not had a hard time though since a newbie came in just in time for her replacing her husband's place in the Recon for the while. The idea was not really comforting to her, most especially that she sees that Levi is the only Strongest Soldier on earth.

Recently, Levi has been practicing how to balance with only his left foot as his right hand tries to balance his entire self entirely along the walls or whatever furniture he might get a grab a hold on to. He's doing great about it but he still can't get the feeling of looking ridicoulously funny out of his mind, most especially if a rookie who is in charge to look after him is in charge to help him learn to balance his self out. When Hanji has a few times to spare, most especially on Sundays, she would pick him up, have his arm attached to her and help him walk again as he balance by his still perfect hand. Instead of feeling funny to himself, he feels oddly excited, like a child amazed in the wonders of walking as he is being guided by Hanji. She doesn't complain nor give him odd looks but laughs over small things like when he suddenly accidentally trips over or loses balances and he ended up grabbing her breast until she managed to pull him up again.

Sometimes, he would accidentally pull her along with him everytime that he would fall, having her land on top of him. They would look to each other in the eyes and then she would roll with him on the ground, as they ended up having Levi on top of hers. It'll make them laugh so hard and tired that Hanji will then fall asleep into his arms.

A man named Chris was promoted to Levi's place, showing high results and records that Moblit was able to gather and have Hanji see. Not long after he was promoted, he was successful enough to perform his exquisite and accurately sharp moves, killing more than ten titans in the hour of their mission. Hanji was beyond happy to have acquired someone like him which would be a very great help for the sudden accident of Levi, but somehow, still not yet rest assured of the guy.

He is not Levi.

Second, Levi is a better leader than him, no doubt about it. It took only a couple of months and Hanji has been hearing that in the field, this Chris guy is like a kid who wanted all of the ants to be killed all to himself. Hanji even heard from his team that he always sound too high and mighty and that he ask them to do a lot of things and boss around. Too much courage and fighting spirit, she guesses? But she can't do anything about it, he's the only one who seemed perfect for the job and instead talked to him nicely about treating his squad properly, carefully not mentioning his squad's feedback about him.

Third, there is something bothering about him. The way he looks, touches and even talks to Hanji was different. Most especially the way he smiles at her, it gives her the creeps. She didn't want to tell Levi about it, fearing he might ask Moblit to do something to protect her, or even better, have the guy killed. Levi can be pretty nasty and unpredictable once he gets jealous.

It was a Sunday and everyone has a day off from the Corps, and Hanji was happy enough to spend that day with Levi entirely. She made fruit juice and some little pasta with little chicken chunks for their lunch. It was a very fine day, and they had it a picnic outside.

Levi was already great progress in his recovery, having his cuts and major injuries recovered, including his cut arm and leg heal its open wound, and now needed everyday clean change of its bandages. Hanji was more than willing to do it for him every single morning before she goes to work, even giving him massages as she change his bandages because sitting in bed all day makes his muscles ache for no good damn reason. Another duty for her too, he sighs.

Hanji hugged Levi by his back, tracing his still hard chest by her fingers, making him shiver all around as he leaned on her chest, his head by her neck his right hand is caressing her hair as well.

They could only go outside together very, very less than before they could have. If they only knew that Levi would end tragically like a human biscuit, then they should have spent outside together, just caressing and holding each other like this.

"Levi…"

"Hmm?" her tone changed suddenly, not knowing why wherein they were just talking some minutes ago about funny stuffs that the rookies had done in the Corps, making them both stir some laughter.

"You'll be back into a perfect shape, I promise." Her voice was too serious for him to crack something up.

"How can we be sure about that?"

"I just know" She whispered into his ears.

"Look, I don't want to break it up to you or anything, I know your vision may be a bit blurry but I know you're not blind that I have been torn literally, having incomplete parts of my body and I don't have any single idea how I can be back to perfect shape." Levi should help her accept the reality that he would no longer get his missing parts back, but hearing her talk like this all the time will not help them accept the reality of what had happened and might even spark an argument between them more than they might expect it. So before that happens, he should do something to have accept the reality.

"Han"

"Hm?"

"Stop worrying about me most of the time. Worry about yourself even once in a while" now it's his turn to have his voice become serious.

"Why is that?"

"You're too busy thinking of the Recon Corps and taking care of me that you forget to take care of yourself" Levi squirmed under her embrace, angled his self carefully so he can hold her face, even if the other hand fails to do so, and face her. "I can't take care of you like before, most espcially if you'll get sick, and I can never forgive myself if you do happen to get sick".

A small smile crept on her face and intertwined her fingers to his perfect hand as her other hand hanged on to his other crippled hand. "I'll be okay Levi, as long as you stay by my side and tell me how shitty I am" and she giggles.

Levi didn't know what else to reply so he kissed her softly and lovingly into her mouth, his lips caressing hers, as his tongue explored and battled hers. He misses her; miss having this kind of things between them because no matter, even if every night and morning they'll be with each other, they won't be able to do something extraordinary or fun at all since she was too tired already. She may deny it but Levi is not stupid to not see and feel it.

"You know I love you right?" she asks, cupping his face.

He hugged her, capturing her in soft and securing embrace. "You don't need to remind me that, I know it by my fucking heart." He felt her trembling under his embrace, wondering why.

He pulled her a bit away so he can look at her through her eyes again. "Something wrong?"

She didn't respond right away, her eyes turning to somewhere else, keeping away from locking eyes with him. He didn't take this as a good sign, even just her delayed response.

"Well, it's about this Chris guy"

Levi's right eye twitched involuntarily, suddenly changing his soft touch to her into a little bit more intense.

"What did he do?"

"Nothing really. He just, gives me the creeps, that's all" she tried to smile but seeing her husband was not happy about the news, it quickly dissolved in her face.

"You looked bothered by it. How does he give that creepy feeling to you?" lifting her chin so she would forcefully look at him.

She choked. "His approaches towards me are different than the way he does towards the other girls around."

"How'd you say that?"

"He has a habit of touching my arm, caressing it then he would whisper to my ear of his concers." Levi didn't moved, feeling surprised and wanting to kick the guy, even if he only intends to tell her something that is related to their work.

"I know it's nothing but it still creeps me out, to think he knows that I am already married."

"I'll cut his arms and legs once I see him" he was not looking at her, his voice flat and monotone, breathing her scent as he rest his face onto hers.

She giggled, embracing him back. "I won't stop you if you'll do that."

"Good." And he kissed her forehead.

Somehow, without him by her side seventy percent of their everydays, he is confident that Moblit would take care of her for him and watch over was able to call for Moblit the following day after hearing Hanji's words. He was happy to hear that Moblit does drive the Chris guy away but he still manages to _seduce _Hanji if he's not around.

"I will keep a closer eye on him" Moblit finally says.

"Good." The only thing that Levi managed to say after sipping his cup of tea, prolonging an awkward silence between them.

"Tell me Moblit, how is my wife doing aside from being harassed by that asshole?" his boring in his.

Moblit knew of every plan and things that Hanji does and tells him that "she's been busy with lots of things, Heichou"

"I know that. Does she still eat lunch?"

Moblit stood still. "Sometimes, but mostly, she'll complain that she's not hungry and that she needs to finish whatever it is that she needed to finish"

"How about when you're outside the walls?" Levi felt a sudden tug in his heart. Whenever they are to go outside the walls, Levi can't help himself but feel overly concern and scared for Hanji. What if something went wrong and she might get in trouble? What if she gets injured or left alone? He can't stop the questions in his mind, but he tries to calm himself thinking that since she is the Danchou, she will be still highly protected with their soldiers.

He can't imagine losing her there, without even fully do everything with her just yet. He just can't lose her, and it rips him apart whenever he have to wait for long fucking days without even having to touch her hair or even just kiss her quickly by the lips. He'll never forgive his self if something bad happened to her.

But after waiting for their mission to finish, she would get back first to him, just to reassure him that she is fine that she too is also longing for his embrace and kisses but needed to go quickly to her office to submit and check all the information of what had happened in their recent mission, much to Levi's dismay. Sometimes, he just wished time to stop time even for a while just so he can spend more time with her without worrying over a single shit to be done.

"well," Moblit started, getting Levi back into reality. "She's doing alright outside, the same as usual. Fighting courageously, keeping a close look over everyone"

He remembered the times when Levi was still alright, that they see themselves like Hanji is the mother of the Recon Corps as Levi is the father, making sure their 'kids' are all okay. He would then grab and bend her, kisses her long enough so that even if they don't get to see each other during the mission, they are confident that they'll return home towards each other eventually. The brats may see them do that before they separate going outside the walls, but they can't help but smile over such lovely scene.

"Okay, just make sure she won't die" he added, his throat going dry by the last word. He can't help but worry about her in there, even if he trust him big time that she can actually defend herself. But she is still human and accidents could happen, just like what had happened to him.

"Of course Heichou" and Moblit left the man as he sleeps, waiting for night time to come just to be with his wife.

-x-

"Danchou, you look tired." A seductive voice of Chris came into Hanji's ears as his hands crept on her face, removing all the hair had spattered in her forehead and into her face. His touch was eerily gentle for her to feel, and it made her feel _molested _in odd number of ways.

"No no, I am alright" Hanji mumbles as she shoved his hand away from her face. She fixed her hair and brushed her eyes before cleaning her glasses. She was suddenly stopped from what she was doing when a hand tugged into her hair.

Such action was very important to her since it was only Levi who does that to her, and it was _his_ notable gesture to her, only his, only Levi's. He wondered how many minutes was Chris already inside her office and where in the world Moblit was.

She stood up and walked away from Chris and faced the mirror, her hair falling above her shoulders and fixed it herself. She didn't like the way of how he approached her, feeling quite too close to her. "What are you doing here?" she asked as she turned to face him, fixing her hair.

He does look charming, taller than her with hair black with a little shade of brown.

"I just came to ask you something, Danchou" his voice was cold and a bit flirty, taking a sit on a nearby chair.

"Hurry and ask it out. I would be in a meeting with the Military Police"

"That's nice"

"I am serious" Hanji was getting pissed. She doesn't have time to entertain some conversation with a no-good-flirty-recon-member at the moment.

"I heard something."

Hanji frozed, her back still on Chris, not facing him.

"Heard what?"

Chris chuckled before letting out a deep, long sigh under his nose. He approached Hanji and held her by her shoulders with both of his hands, massaging them as they give her a shiver along her spine. She could completely feel him behind her, his chest glued to her back and she could swear that his _pants _is pressed too hard onto her ass.

He nuzzled on to her cheek, smelled her scent as his nose hit her ears. He was looking at their reflection on the mirror and the way Hanji sees it gave her an angry feeling and her blood run wildly along her veins. "I heard your husband _fucked_ Petra before he even gets to propose to yah" and smirked devilishly in their reflection by the mirror. He loved teasing her and see her act how uncomfortable she is when he is doing that. Some bastard he was.

Hanji freaked out. In a heartbeat, he slapped Chris right in the face too hard that she feared that her hand's skin turned to red immediately. It stung Chris' face as his hand immediately fell on his now warmed and pained cheek, feeling it slowly underneath his touch. He did not maintained a far distance from Hanji, and the moment he tries to focus on harassing her, she had a knife under his chin.

"What the fuck are you saying, captain?" Her eyes were sharp, looking at him directly in the eyes, tensed but tears were already starting to form in her eyes. He didn't know where it came from but he sure is that it will kill him sooner.

Chris grinned at her. "You heard me, Danchou." He could completely tell that she is really bothered about what he had just said.

"So you want to know eh?" His voice is still flirty, as though he is not scared of dying under her hands.

Hanji glared at him, threatening him with her knife, making its way towards his neck.

"Ask Olou. He knows what and how to tell you." He delivered it flatly on her face, and hoped she will do what he just said.

He turned his back on her and left her office as Hanji didn't run after him to stab him right in the ass but remained standing, her knife still clutched under hand, her breathing starting to become slow but she can feel tense within and her heart starting to beat fast, in contrast of her slow, shallow breathing.

She stared at the sun, still up in the middle of the day, it's light nor heat not helping to her feel any better.

"Levi..." the only thing she was able to mutter under breath.

What was Chris saying? How in the world could he have heard such thing? Was it true?

It couldn't be. Levi will never _ever _do such a thing towards her and their relationship, even if they were still not married before, he just can't. She clung on the edge of the table and tried to pull her shit up together. She better steadies herself and prepare for the meeting but she can't get the feeling and thought away. Why was she feeling even feeling scared even if she knew it was not true?

She blinked rapidly, wiped all the sweats on her forehead and laughed to herself of such foolish thought. Levi loves her, and she is sure of that. There will be no way for him to do such a thing towards her.

"Danchou, we need to go to the meeting" Moblit knocked and entered her room; some papers were on his hand.

She tried to smile at him, but her smile was too shaky that Moblit didn't even miss to witness it.

"Are you alright Danchou?" he asked.

"I am. Let's go before we even arrive there late." He nodded, but he could swear that something is bothering her and that she is not telling.

Hanji had sworn that right after this meeting, she will ask Moblit to tell Olou to come to her office.

-x-

Olou told her everything he knew, feeling she deserved to know and feel the same thing that he had when he first found out about Petra and Levi's scandalous night. Olou was very sorry but also in pain when told Hanji and find it difficult to finish everything that he needed to say. He had a hard time trying to keep it from her, but he's got no other choice when Hanji took a hold of his harness and pulled him up, almost killing him out of his breath.

"Petra told me everything because I asked her to." Tears were forming into his eyes when he started, "She did not like telling it to me but I told her that I'll understand because I am her husband. I can't just let her say that _'I have a secret to hide from you but I don't want to tell it to you because it'll break your heart'" _He tells her, as Hanji can hear her heart, beating wildly inside her chest, starting to feel pain.

"It happened in the HQ when everyone was not around after having some drinking at Erwin's birthday party and then they bumped into each other. They ended up doing it inside some storage room far deep within the HQ castle that even I didn't hear after some teasing." Tears were also starting to build in Olou's eyes as well, no longer caring if Hanji is present in front of him. "But a kid named Mark was able to witness everything." Hanji was surprised by what he had said, not knowing there was still someone else involved and he didn't even told her about it.

"He was able to see and even hear everything that night, but Levi was successful enough to have this kid shut his mouth the entire time." He choked, feeling pain again in his chest. He and Petra just started dating that time and imagining her doing that to him is just a pure pain in the heart.

After pulling her shit together, she managed to flash him a very quick smile, thanks him for telling her what he knows and left. Hanji asked for Moblit to call for this kid and be at her laboratory at that same night since she didn't went home that night, crying furiously in her lab after hearing Mark's story at the HQ, sending Armin out to look after Levi instead. She's sure he'll understand (and he doesn't have any other choice either) and promised him that she'll explain right after.

Right after the meeting, Hanji already had Moblit call for that Mark kid and had Armin sent out to watch over Levi for tonight for she will be surely go home late. The moment she laid eyes on the poor trembling kid, she felt more determined to find out the truth, and this kid right before her eyes is the very answer to her huge question mark on her head. She asked what he had witnessed first and told him how she found out. The kid understands her, since she is Levi's wife and she too, deserves to know. Whatever the decision may be, he would still end up as a pulp. If he told Hanji, he's surely dead to Levi but if he didn't, then he would be slithered by Hanji. No good options anyway and he has no other choice that he is now in front of her.

"Heichou licked her breasts, and she was even wearing a black bra too. They didn't even notice me that somebody locked me in that huge storage room of 3DMGs that I was able to witness everything that had happened and just saw me after they're done." The kid explains as he starts to shiver in front of her.

"How did it start?" Hanji's eyes were starting to tear up again, but not yet ready to flow down across her cheeks. "Tell me everything" The kid's expression changed into a concerned one, feeling that he is resisting now. "It's okay" she managed to smile and swipe the tears away. "That's an order" she added, and that seemed to change the thought of the kid, straightening up, being reminded that the person on front of him is his Danchou.

"Well, after licking her _entire body_, he then massaged her ahm, breasts and then, they just kissed each other like some animal until they ahm, shook the entire room" The poor kid wasn't able to meet his leader's eyes, not wanting himself to get involved in such a commotion between married couples.

"And how did they _shook _the entire room, you say?" Damn it, the kid thought, _she wanted to know each and every part of it! _And he is left to no choice but to say it.

"Well, Heichou carried her and trapped her on the wall as they did it there and went behind her, and did it there too. He was all over her back too as she bends her body" His voice was low and hard, as well as his eyes meet the floor every fucking second, feeling weird and awkward as he says such a thing to his leader.

"Oh." Hanji said as she tried to maintain her serious, flat tone. "Did he say anything throughout the process?"

The kid tried to think, looking from the things on her table to the chairs present, trying to think of anything.

"It's alright okay? And I'll make sure that you won't get harmed or anything by telling this to me, I promise." Hanji encouraged, just wanting to know the entire truth.

The kid sighed, his fist curled into a ball. "He did said that she has better breasts and body" he paused checking his leader, and she seems to be tearing the table underneath her as she holds on it firmly in her grasp. "And that she is too tight and does better" she didn't blink. She is sure that she is hearing the right thing, and that this kid right here is just telling the truth. There would be no reason for him to lie or make that up. Besides, Petra already did confessed to Olou and Levi can no longer deny such fucking thing to her.

The kid was trembling in his every word, even if he tries to be careful, he is sure his words will slash Hanji anyway. "And that you're not that good in bed and can't offer anything good." His eyes were closed as he said that, feeling sorry for himself and for Hanji most especially.

The kid felt sorry as Moblit's eyes grew big, wanting to protect his leader over something unexplainable.

"Thank you" she let out a deep inhale before letting the kid go.

"I am so sorry Danchou, I never wanted to b-"

Hanji hold his shoulders, looking at him, trying to smile. "Don't be." And she allowed him to go right away, not letting him see the tears dripping off on her porcelain cheeks.

-x-

Moblit was the one to witness every little thing that Hanji does that night as she cried while doing her endless works. She was in deep pain, crying her heart out at him as she hugged him, continuously asking him 'why would Levi do such a thing' and if she's not much a great wife.

This time, she focused on about her researches and finished a couple of paper works to be submitted within the week, looking for some sponsorship from the upper classes so the Corps won't lack out of money for their everyday needs and support their experimentations and other kinds of shit.

She did manage to focus all night but she didn't manage to get her mind off from Levi and his fucking time with Petra before. She tried to imagine it but she couldn't, knowing that it will rip her heart out of her fucking chest all over again. The way she perfectly knows how he _fucks_ and to know that it is Petra, she can imagine it with no hard concentration. She wished she'd just had a hard and find imagining difficult but she has a high functioning brain and it's tearing her apart.

It took her four consecutive days to accomplish everything, from her researches to experimentation, asking help from the others on how they would be able to successfully capture more titans and study them without losing or sacrificing a huge number of members, holding meetings, talking to the higher ups, and communicating and giving feedback to the king. She even managed to give a talk to the people within the walls, to persuade them that the Recon Corps is doing magnificently and is bound to go out for more successful missions and that they are not to fear anything anymore, especially as she visited the homes of her dead men. She was also able to talk over most of her members, from the rookies to the oldies, she managed to take some time to talk to them and encourage them and uplift their spirits. She was almost absent minded but was able to pull her shit all together so just she would accomplish a lot of important things. She was happy to attain such accomplishment in a minimum number of days, as she can still feel her heart twitch in a pain every second.

But one thing is for sure, that even if she achieved a lot in those four days, she failed to fix her broken heart everytime that Levi will cross her mind, of everything that they've done and had together. It hurt her too much that she feels like her heart is going to explode due to extreme pain any time soon. She remembers everything that they have done together, and realizing of what he had done, does he really love her at all?

She felt disrespected. As much as she thought of him all the time, pleasing him, loving and caring for him, respecting him in all aspect, and here it is, finding out that he can't return the same thing to her?

She didn't have a choice but to return to her home with Levi eventually and as her right foot touches the door step, Levi immediately raised his voice, looking to her with great concern but a bit of anguish.

"Where the hell have you been Shitty Glasses! You don't know how shitty I was while waiting for you here!" He wanted to go grab her, hug her until she falls asleep, and tell her that she overworked again and that he'll stay by her side as she sleeps. If only he could cook for her or even walk towards her, he might even carry her as she is succumb into a very tight embrace under his arms. She doesn't have any idea how excited he was to see her finally and that he's dying to know what had happened to her, stepping the anger aside for not telling him. But he can't. He always fails to deliver those kind of feelings to her, most especially now that he can't even bring to throw himself at her.

What surprised him was how Hanji looked as she enters their home.

Her eyes were blank, she was looking at the floor as she walks, her cheery aura was not felt, she looks even more tired and she _lost weight. _What caught his attention the most was that she entered the house as if he wasn't there—no 'hi', or 'hey' or 'I miss you' nor 'how's my husband?' nothing came out from her mouth and she didn't even looked at him.

"Hey Shitty Glasses" she didn't respond but quickly made her way at the kitchen.

"Hanj! Just in case you're forgetting something, I'm fucking here." Levi's tone was desperate, reaching out in the depths of hers, longing for her after leaving him at home with Armin for four fucking days without any idea of what or why she's not going back home yet.

She finally stops on what she is doing and slowly looked at him.

"Oh, hey." She murmurs and went back to make some soup for Levi.

Levi was surprised, he doesn't know what was happening and most especially that he just saw how puffy and red her eyes were.

"Hanj. What's wrong?" He's feeling that there is definitely, something is wrong that is bothering her. It's breaking his heart to see her acting like this. He asked gently, trying to find out if it will make her change her bad mood.

"I'm making you some potato soup." Was her only reply, grabbing a few bread from the counter to serve to him as well. It's a good thing that Armin was already gone, or else someone will witness this thing that they're about to have.

Once she have settled his food by his side, she immediately sit in opposite direction of him, staring at him blankly.

"You're not going to eat dinner with me?" he asked bluntly.

She swayed her head, and adjusted herself in her seat. Not even a tiny smile or the same vibrant eyes of her shone brightly to his.

"Something's wrong." He started, feeling nervous. "What is it about Hanj?"

"Eat first." She knew perfectly well that he won't be able to eat if she blurted things out immediately to him. She didn't blink at first as he eats the soup she had prepared and tried with all her might not to cry. She's done crying her heart out to Moblit and to the very inch of her office.

When he was done, she took the bowl and glass away, still not looking at him.

She settled herself first comfortably in her seat then slowly, voice shallow and shaky said that "I found out"

"Found out what?"

"Found out how you fucked Petra in the HQ storage room." Levi didn't move a muscle. Who the fuck would have told her about it? He had made sure that Mark kid will never say a word to anyone, but what the fuck?

He can't meet her gaze. With all the love, support and shit that she gave him, this is what he's going to give to her in return? To think that he is the one who fails to strengthen their marriage, failing to show an affectionate or caring husband to her?

"You should have told me that time. I'll understand it better, and I'll accept it gladly if you have been honest with me before." Her tone was still blank; it's as if Levi is talking to a dead person. "You don't know how painful it was to hear it coming from another person" sounding like someone who just came out of an asylum, tone and stares blank, looking over nothing. Physically present but mentally absent.

"Hanj"

"You could've explained it to me"

"Hanji"

"You didn't had any idea how it hurt me and Olou."

Was Olou the one who told her? Levi doesn't have any idea what to do now. It's breaking apart, and it's his fault.

"Hanji"

This time, despite her strong efforts not to cry, the fucking dam breaks. Her tear glands are on the work again, and it won't stop. Her hands crushed into her eyes and stayed there, as the tears made its way towards her hands as well. It was too much already but it still won't stop.

The sight of Hanji weeping, crying quietly in front of him makes him mad, mad to himself and his shittiness that is. He wanted to hug her, to embrace her with kisses and give her the tightest hug in the world but what she told him was even more painful for him to register onto his ears. What's more painful was that he remembers every bit of those words, which he did, indeed said them.

"That I was not good in bed Levi? I'm not too tight anymore?" She was sobbing hard, crying like a kid. She's having a hard time to talk due to her sobs.

"To think that you're the first one to get inside me and I am still not good enough for you?" she stood up, her hands wiping her eyes, making them red again.

"Olou and Petra's marriage is at stake. He asked permission from me to stop working for a while, and they needed to rekindle and talk a lot regarding their marriage. Most especially that they have a child now." Her tone was back to being serious, as she didn't moved in her seat.

"Levi, was I not enough?" she continued.

Levi didn't know what to say or do. He was just in there, looking at his hands, breathing heavily, feeling guilty of what he had done. His heart is breaking as he looked at her, he wanted to be punished for putting Hanji in to such a horrible state. He doesn't know what else to do but let Hanji stab him anywhere so they can call it quits but no. It was hard, real hard. How could he have do and keep such a thing from her when they were still in a relationship that time?

"We were fucking drunk Hanji! I didn't kno-"

"You may be drunk, but what you said is unbearable Levi."

"Hanji! You know it's not tru-"

"I know. I'm not stupid. Are you aware that a person can spill out everything that he cannot honestly say in front of anyone? And what you said back there is what you cannot tell in front of me, what you hid within yourself all along and instead of telling it to me, you ended up fucking one of our comrades and telling her how you find me unpleasing in bed." She sniffed and coughed, loosing enough air to inhale.

"We're already in a relationship that time, as Olou and Petra were already engaged. Me and Olou suddenly thought that if you could do that while still being in a relationship, what more when you get married where you are sure that your partners will never leave you, even if you do such nasty shit?"

She doesn't have any idea how apologetic he is, but he knew perfectly that no matter how many sorry it is that he says, it still won't do a shit to change nor lessen the anger that she was feeling. He tried to get up, succeeding in trying to balance himself but Hanji was on her way to the bathroom. He knew sorry is not enough to get her back but he doesn't know what else to say and he can't even think or do or shit.

She stopped and looked at him, giving him a cold and dead glare, "I _never _should have married you." Levi was caught off guard by those painful words. It hit him like lightning, too fast before he prepares his heart from crashing. It was very painful to hear, most probably the most painful thing to enter his ears. He tried to persuade himself that she was just saying that and it's not really real but fuck. What the hell did he just do to their marriage?

**-x-**

Once Hanji was out of the bathroom, which seemed like a whole millennia was spent there, she immediately wore her clothes and fixed a few things in bag. Levi's eyes was not leaving her as she moved.

"I'll stay in the HQ for now. Moblit is going to take care of you from now on."

He couldn't do a shit to stop her, he just couldn't do anything. He is hopeless and beyond helpless already, and he doesn't have any clue on what to do fix things up. "Please stay." He whimpers as she stopped and turned to look at him.

"For what?"

"Let's talk." He asked, his eyes, almost coming to have tears too. "Please."

After a few seconds of not moving, she went to her previous seat looking at him with serious sad eyes. And Levi can no longer bear to see her like that.

"What do you want to say?" she asked as she crossed her arms on her chest, her voice very low almost like a whisper.

Levi really didn't know what to say or how to actually start apologizing correctly. And it's driving him off the edge. "I don't want to waste my time"

"It was a mistake." He started, feeling his hands shaking.

"The what? Our marriage? Of course it is!" She laughed, looking like she's some kind of a maniac who just had loads of tears just a few moments ago and now laughing her shit out. She's already breaking down. She's losing her mind.

"No. Marrying you was not a mistake." His right fist in now turning into a hard ball.

"Because you knew that I'll never leave you once I married you? And that you can do whatever shit because you know I will never leave you anyway?"

"I love you." He said in a low whimper where sadness can be pretty much felt as he pronounced each word slowly, hoping it will reach her, wake and remind her that he really does. His eyes softened, blinking rapidly than his usual, trying to control the tears that is threatening to fall anytime soon and join her wife in crying. He just can't take another fight, another argument like this with her. This is not something he yearned for before, and it's making him sick.

There was a pause, an awkward silence and then she laughed again.

"You sure do are funny Levi. I already knew that! That you loving me is a mistake! No need to remind me that!" She held on to her stomach, laughing hysterically. Levi scrambles to his sit, wanting to touch her and calm her down, to tell her that she's just saying the very wrong that he could feel about her.

"I am serious here, Hanji. I _do _love you."

Hanji didn't stop laughing, and Levi feels he is already losing his mind trying to persuade her of what he really feels. It pains him to see her this way, absurd and insane.

"You didn't know how hard it was for me" trying to sound convincing as he could. When it happened, he really didn't know how and what to say to Hanji. Now, he finds himself struggling with the very same problem.

"Really? Hard? For you? To what? Fuck someone as tight as her!"

"I didn-"

"Shut the fuck up Levi!" she stood up, crying again, this time, she let the tears rolled in her cheeks, her hands no longer stopping them as they fall, letting Levi see every single drop and he could swear he can count every bit of it too and he hated every drop of it.

"I didn't know what I have done to you to treat me like this. I thought what we had been real. I did everything that I can for you, for us" her voice was shaky the entire time as Levi is also shaky, trying to balance himself but can't walk towards her.

"Hanji, please don't leave me" it was a voice of utter deception and humiliation. He's facing the floor, not having the balls to look at her. "I don't know what I needed to do for you to fix this and for you to forgive me, I know it's already done and it's pointless to bring it up and have it fixed or be forgotten but please Hanji, I am begging you, give me another chance. Please Hanj." He shut his eyes as few tears were already making their way out of eyes. Hanji was surprised to see Levi starting to cry but she was too full of anger to even hug him, even if it's really tempting.

"I love you" was all he can mutter, hoping he would trigger any kind of positive emotion from her.

She didn't moved. It may hurt leaving him but she can't live with him under a single roof for a number of days. She will need to learn how to accept what had happened and then move on completely. Then, slowly, she turned her head to meet him. "Loving someone is taking care of them, not breaking their hearts." She turned around, grabbed her things and left the crippled man standing on his own, trying to keep his balance, a tear falling on his cheek, heart shattering into pieces.

She stopped by the door and before she even lift a foot going outside, she did not even looked over him to even take a final glance and saying her last words of goodbye.

"Loving you was a complete lie and shit. Marrying you was the worst failure that I had ever made." She walked quickly, no more turning backs as Levi's heart was ripped from his chest and felt like about to die of bleeding.

It was the most painful words Hanji had ever told him, and he can't stop the quiet sobbing as she walks away in anger, away from their home, away from him, away from their marriage.

**-x-**

**Author's Note:**

I hope I didn't made it too emotional or some shit.

Happy reading and see you on the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

**Radiance of Hope**

**-x-**

I just realized today that I made Levi looked like Eren the II when his left arm and right leg was bitten by a titan, opposite of both sides from Eren though from episode 5 O.O

I really didn't expect that.

P.S.

This was supposed to be uploaded yesterday but I was very busy with school reports so yeah, kinda have this uploaded delayed with the exact day I was suppose to upload this with my other fic chapters. (I kinda upload them all at once together)

Have fun reading.

**-x-**

Hanji asked Moblit to take care of Levi every night, and that she won't need him for a while and his assistance. He tried to disagree and insist but he failed, telling him that _it's an order _from her and he doesn't have the right not to obey her. He nodded and still made sure that the assigned rookies are still to continue looking after their former heichou everytime the sun is still visible.

Every day, Hanji will bury herself with work, working on some papers and most especially her research, experiments and studies regarding the titans. She wants to understand every single one of them even better so she can eliminate them and then search the world for a new place for her to start a new. She wouldn't even eat lunch or dinner or anything in between, her breakfast the only thing she would swallow that is already good for the entire day. It only took a week for her body to lose half its total weight, looking oddly thinner than ever. Moblit was even tempted to push all the food that he brings to her mouth when he goes back to her. He would gladly do it once she's asleep. He could feel that he is taking care of two whiny babies in a single day, Hanji in while the sun is up and Levi once the sun is down.

Her eyes were droopy, tired and most of all, _sad. _It was no longer alive and jolly and bright that everybody sees, and it bothers them.

Mike, Erwin and the rest of the most important figures in the Recon Corps did not failed to hear that she and Levi had a very horrible argument, not a _misunderstanding. _She would always correct them that misunderstanding is different to something that has been done in full awareness. They tried to reach out, tell her the most comforting words that they could say but nothing worked. She would continue on her work, as though she didn't heard anything that they are saying to her. They would all sighed in return as Moblit glares at them like 'I told you so' and leave her be.

While out on a mission, she has become too brutal, scaring most of the younger ones away, even the others too. She would laugh maniacally as she slices every bit of muscle and every bit of blood spurting out from each titan. She was having fun slaughtering each one of them and she would kill them slowly, making them feel pain. No one reacted negatively towards what she is doing or how she was acting, thinking that she needs it to herself. They would eventually go back to the walls, as Hanji will smell like she was dipped into a pile of blood.

Hanji no longer cared of what others will say, all she cares now is how she will be able to finish her task each and every day. She needed something to keep her sanity maintained, or else she will lose it and breakdown.

No one seemed to have the guts or faith to reach out to her. No one can help her and just witness her degrading slowly out of reality.

Chris in the other hand did not talked to her, having pleased himself that he won over Levi. He saw how Hanji reacted recently, laughing to himself in his victory. He tried to make advances towards Hanji in one fine day and he almost got himself killed again, and this time, it was very close to death. She seems serious about killing him this time. As for Hanji, she still owes the man, for if it's not for him, she will never find out and be left cheated on by her husband. But she didn't want to know how Chris found out all about it, she is just aware that he has ears all over the place.

One rainy night when Hanji was alone on her lab, busy as usual, when Petra came in. It was unexpected and she didn't even hear her coming inside, too preoccupied of writing with her new discoveries. She was alarmed and was surprised that she had her hand was slapped onto her chest, as though she had seen a ghost. Realizing who it was, her expression changed into a serious one again and continued back to her work. Petra just stared at her and how she busied herself with work.

"What do you want?" she asked without even looking at her.

"I know apologizing won't do good." Petra started and removed her drenched hoody off her head. "But I know I owe you a lot. You should understand tha-"

"I should understand that you're not supposed to be here." Hanji let go of her quill and papers, looking at her boringly into her eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be at the country side with your family?"

"I am, I just came here to talk to you."

"About what? How my husband lovingly fucked you before?" Her tone was trying to be sweet, high in tone, but not welcoming to her.

Petra inhaled longer and exhaled deeper, trying to keep her calm herself as far as she can. _It's going to be a long conversation_ she thought to herself. And she should have expected this.

"Hanji, you're a close and dear friend to me and I know nothing but to be your ally." She started. Hanji let out a laughed and snorted.

"Really? That's really convincing." Laughing as she tries to write a couple of observations on her papers. She snorted. A friend who will fuck over your lover as she is already engage with another man? What kind of horrible definition it is for a friend then?

"I mean it Hanji. You should be aware of what had happened between me and Levi was a-"

"Mistake. Ha! Hell yeah, I know. Tell it all you want I don't and _won't _care." Hanji grinned, showing that she is serious about her words.

"You should know that you are important to Levi and that you are his only life." It's actually a pain to pronounce Levi's name, guilty of what had happened between them. But she needs to help the couple, her two comrades out, knowing that she is the reason for their near total separation.

Hanji let out a laugh. "What made you even say that?"

Petra gathered all the luck and bravery to speak, knowing what she is about to say will trigger a few unwanted memories back. "Because he told me. He told me everything. He told me how much he loves you."

"Aww that's so sweet." She's mocking her, and she can feel it. "I had enough bullshit Petra. You may leave."

"No. You don't understand."

"Understand what? Didn't you hear me? I said go." Hanji's voice is rising, and her eyes are becoming fiery with hate.

Petra stood still and settled herself, breathing slowly. She doesn't care if Hanji drags her outside the lab, she will explain things anyway with all her might. "That night, I told him I actually love him before, realizing that he has the right to know of how and what I feel for him for doing my best to have him pick me to be one of his squad members. But it was not the love that I was actually yearning for, realizing it late when Olou became serious on me. But Olou made things so clear to me and realized that he is the one I needed. As my captain, I think he has the right to know but we were drunk. But things went wrong and it just happened. All out of control of that alcohol and lust that we had for each other before I guess that made us do it" She started, even if she really didn't want to recall that horrible night.

Hanji looked at her in bewilderment. At least she's already interest in listening and stopped telling her to get out of her lab. Suddenly she remembered where was she when that happened? She didn't know a thing, and somehow felt horrible she can't keep a closer eye on Levi that night too.

"I didn't like what he was doing but I gave in. I was scared he might kill me if I fought back. He said he also liked me before, but that was way before he even realized how much you meant to him. We couldn't even finish it because he suddenly cried, coming to his senses and realizing of what was happening. We stopped immediately and he apologized to me. We kept what had happened to us as a secret, but then that kid Mark came out behind the boxes of gasses. We all had agreed to keep it only to us three and no one should know, most especially Olou and you. My world will be totally blown if Olou leaves me as Levi kept on saying that he loves you so much he doesn't know what will happen if you will walk out of his life." She continued. She eyed Hanji who was staring at the floor, not moving, trying to convince herself that Petra is lying.

"When that happened, it taught us a great lesson in life that we did choose the right people for our lives, most especially we knew who we truly love after all. He was so scared that he cried until before he sees you the following day, he was just happy that you were still on your good normal self and was not able to see the fear, guilt and sadness behind his eyes that time. He kept looking at his hands, shouting at himself, 'what have I've done' as he cried." Petra's gaze did not left Hanji, and she did not know if her words will make something out of her, but she is still hoping. For Hanji's part, she never saw Levi cried, let alone witnessed a tear fall from his eyelids. She is now silently hoping that Petra has only mistaken Levi for crying to something else.

"Heichou was very intense that time, feeling really broken that he did that to you. Whenever he looks at you, I can perfectly see the pain in his eyes, the guilt and worry. He is ashamed of himself and is very worried about you" Petra further explains.

"Looks like you are even more compatible to him than I do" Hanji snorted and let out a laugh to herself.

"Look, you two are important to each other and for the Corps most especially. I know I am no longer asking for your forgiveness because I know it'll be very hard for you to give such thing to me, but I do am asking for your understanding and consideration for your husband's sake. I know you still love him, even if you won't tell me, or anyone, or even admit it to yourself."

"Oh yeah! You don't know shi-"

"Oh I do know shit like that because I am married to the person I love and who loves me back." Hanji bit her tongue and swallowed hard. She does have a point there. A tear rolled down on Petra's cheek and smiled in midst of it. "Olou... Olou did not gave up on me. Even if I hurt him that bad, he didn't left me and our son. He said no matter what, and even if I do it with thousands of man, he'll never let go of me. I was not able to give and show the same love towards him, but my heart sank as he said those words. He did not know how much I love him and how much he meant to me. When I even bore him our son, he just looked at him for so long that I realized what he was doing. He thought it was not his, but when he witness how our son's hair curled with my hair color, and eyes mimicking his when he is laughing, he just laughed with tears." Petra tried to sound convincing and alright, and wished she does. She is almost crying as she giggled slightly, recalling how adorable her son looks like when Olou plays with him.

"No matter what you think Hanji Danchou, I, Olou and our son will still hope for the best of your marriage with Heichou. We know it hurts like hell, but we sure about the fact that you still have a bit of love for him." Hanji didn't respond, her eyes are now focused on the floor, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"When Heichou touched me, I know it wasn't for me. It wasn't caring and not sweet, pure lust and confusion." Petra made her way towards door, but still added a few more words for Hanji to change her mind entirely. "I remember how Olou holds and caress me, I know that I am the only woman in his life to have the touch of his and I am bound to have his touch, only his touch, where no one else can give." Petra unlocks the door, her clothes still dripping wet. She took a last long at Hanji who was not moving on her desk, looking blankly on her papers holding a quill. "Remember and feel how Heichou loves you, how he means to you. Remember that his touches and kisses were only for you, and that you are the last most important person in the world for him that no one could ever replace" She already have the door handle on her hand when Hanji suddenly halted her from going further outside.

"Did he told you to do this?" Then she eyed Petra carefully, looking for an answer.

"No, Heichou didn't know anything about me talking to you." With that, Petra smiled sadly at Hanji and then she left her alone to think things through.

Hanji is now tormented about the truth, of her heart and her mind fearing that Petra is right. A part of her still loves and cares for Levi, even now, she still longs for him. She remembered how he touched her and caress her skin, how he nuzzle his nose on her cheek whenever he hugs her from the back and how his hand tugged on her hair. She even thinks of him and how he was doing every single moment, even if she got out of their shared home. They maybe small affections but they only shared those to each other, she is certain of that. Even if Petra maybe telling the truth, it still hurts for her part. But for now, it may hurt like hell but the pain her heart will hopefully, slowly and it scares her. She's not yet ready to fix things with Levi or even forgive him yet.

They were on a relationship that time that he and Petra have done it, accidentally or not. He should have just told her about it because she is sure that she will forgive him. All she's asking was all honesty from him.

If she would want to see Levi, if she would want to be with her husband again, she have to act quickly. With mere hesitation, she wiped away the tears on her face and pulled out a new set of papers and started to draw, think and formulize. She tried to wear her wedding and engagement ring once again, trying to feel back the contentment and happiness she once felt when they were placed on her finger. She was shaken by thought that she is still hoping for them, but at least she could try and see things first. She may not be able to receive those same feelings back in an instant but she sure is that they will return to her heart and remind her that she is Levi's wife. It may not be easy to erase all the harsh memories and feelings but she will get pass them, hopefully for sure.

Some part of her is still yearning for him, for his body, his embrace, his kisses, his protection and his love. She does miss their dirty nicknames and filthy jokes, but it's a part of them that made them who they are and different from any other married couples. Hanji swears that she is going crazy, but she needs to try at least.

A soft smile crept on her face, as she felt warmed in the middle of the cold torturing rain.

-x-

Levi was broken. He's incomplete, he's useless, and he's hopeless. There would be no way for him to get Hanji back and mend their broken marriage. A part of him still hopes but most of his totality has fully surrendered to the fact that he will just rotten in this place and die of a broken heart.

Every morning, every time the sun is up, he will be woken up by the sounds of some rookie kid that will watch over him. He will do nothing but just stare at the ceiling as he feels his heart crumbles everyday to single bits. He remembers how he and Hanji once lived life together, and now she won't even see him. It pains his heart so bad that he no longer has the will power to lift a single fork nor open his mouth to feed himself. The rookie will just always sigh to their defeat, no longer wanting to even argue with him about such a thing.

Levi would always look outside his windows by his dim room, staring at the sun that has been his only light since Hanji left him. She didn't even once returned to their home to get more of her things, and his heart felt like was pinched by a thousand times, feeling his hopes down. But as he stared at the horizon, at the sky, at the sun, he is hoping that she is staring at it too, at least somehow, they would be sharing something between them even if there are way apart from each other and everything about them has not yet been gone entirely.

Moblit will come at night and prepare dinner for Levi. That's the only time he eats properly, when Moblit tells him how Hanji is doing, what she does towards the entire day and if she even spoke about his name. He even hopes that she would say that she plans to visit him, even if it'll be her last visit to him so Levi can prepare himself for her. He would ask how their meetings went, her operations, her researches, experiments and if she takes care of herself. He is far too worried for her and didn't even want even one single fucking hair to get loose on her head. He would ask how she did after their missions and if the Chris guy is still messing with her.

Moblit will answer Levi's every question properly and slowly. He would tell him about Hanji's day, and usually he will just describe how busy her day went entirely just doing this and signing that, meetings to this and checking to that and how her experiments and researches are done quietly before the day ends. Even if it is the answer that Levi always here everyday, he never gets tired of hearing it. He misses every bit of her and hearing something that has got to do with her makes him feel warm and a little bit alive. Even if Moblit's answers were predictable, it makes him feel contented somehow that this is the only last thing that he could do to feel his wife.

One night, he was tempted to ask Moblit to just bring him around to Hanji but insisted and told him that even if he wanted to carry him to her lab, he can't. She would have been asleep or just very busy to acknowledge him and just humiliate himself. Not that he does not want to help the poor guy but he taught of the possible things that could happen, and might even break his heart and kill himself in the process. He didn't want things to end like that, even if it's just a hunch. And he could swear that Hanji might do something to the both of them have them killed in an instant if he brings Levi there. She'll be uncontrollable, and believes that whatever it is that Levi is planning to do, it won't do or fix anything between the two of them.

"Did she ate today?"

"Yes she did. A big heavy breakfast then the usual, very little bread and soup in the evening or in afternoons. She still gulps heavy liters of water all the time."

So, she might have been able to move on fast from him then? He gripped his bed sheet so tight that it almost got ripped in his hand. How can she do that? How can she just forget about him that easily?

"Heichou..."

"She doesn't miss me, right?" his eyes turned from a hurt and sad one after being expressionless the entire day. It hurt him to realize the truth, as the truth even comes out of his very own mouth. As much as he wanted not to believe his own thought and words, he just can't help feeling it to be the truth after all. Moblit in the other hand can't do anything but to pity the man right in front of him.

Moblit was not able to answer. How could he when he doesn't even really know the truth? Hanji maybe able to show that she doesn't miss him but he is not sure if in the inside, she really doesn't care anymore about Levi.

"I...I don't know Heichou..." was the unsure respond of Moblit.

"Does she ask about me, even once or twice a week?" Moblit thought about that. She does anyway.

"About twice or thrice a week though, Heichou" at least she's still asking about him he thought.

There was an awkward silence between them, something that they usually share.

"I suggest you try reading her books that she left here, Heichou." Moblit suddenly burst out of nowhere.

"Why is that?"

"So that you have something to talk about when she sees you."

He was quiet about the thought, and Moblit thinks it was a shitty stupid idea. "I mean, at least yo-"

"No you're right. I don't have anything to do here anyway." He smirked, thinking of how happy Hanji could be if she finds out that Levi is now interested in her books and they could share their thoughts about it. They would be reconnected at least, even for a very few little things, just to even divert her attention from their sudden tragedy. "I would even feel her reconnected to me again" and he closed his eyes.

He didn't care if he looks and sounds stupid and hilarious in front of Moblit, but he did promised himself to start reading tomorrow.

Moblit was surprised to know about Levi agreeing to his sudden suggestion, and what was more surprising was that Levi didn't agreed so just he can kill time but so that he can feel _her _again being reconnected to him.

Moblit is sure that they want nothing more but to be with each other again, but Hanji is too hurt to even see Levi once a month.

-x-

Hanji was very busy drawing ideas and writing letters and held meetings for the Recon Corps. But once in a while, she would stare at the sun every once in the afternoon, feeling she should look at it and watch the sky as the birds fly in it. She never failed to do such a thing when he stepped out of Levi's life.

She held her cup of coffee, breathe through her nose of its scent gently as she calm herself down. When a few hair strands came falling into her cup of coffee as she gulps on it, her left hand immediately removed them and took a glance at her rings in her finger.

She shivered.

She could not even thought that she would do this and hope for something that she is not even sure too.

"Danchou.." Moblit suddenly came in her office door.

Like a child caught up sneeking in the middle of the night, Hanji panicked. But seeing it was Moblit, she calmed, learning it wasn't Chris.

"Are you okay Danchou?" Moblit asked worriedly, sensing his leader's shaken up all of a sudden.

Hanji cannot help but smile. "I am alright. So how was it?"

"The blacksmiths all over the walls were capable of doing such project, Danchou." Hanji beamed warmly at Moblit and his hard works.

"I owe you a lot, Moblit."

"How was yours, Danchou?"

"Erwin has a great doctor for a cousin, and I talked it over for him. He was surprised about my planned surprise too, and can't even believe that I was doing such a thing after what had happened" she giggled and took out a couple of papers, showing their scheduled operation. It is a relief to see and hear her laugh, missing it for a couple of months.

"See? They immediately agreed too that's why I am very happy. It's a good thing that the blacksmiths already agreed so we can ask them to hurry and have them made."

"Yes Danchou. You're right" Moblit reflected her smiles, he seems hopeful for things to get better soon.

Hanji sipped on her cup of coffee and looked at the window again, facing her back to Moblit. "Tell me Moblit, do you think he's still mad at me?" her voice suddely turned low and shaky.

"Not at all Danchou" he is sure of it.

"But do you think..." she was shaking, not sure if she needed to continue asking. Moblit waited patiently until Hanji had the guts to finish her statement.

"...you think everything will work out as planned?"

Moblit blinked a hundred times, laughing to himself. "Of course Danchou! Your works and plans never failed"

"I do fail sometimes"

"But still not that bad right? And if it failed, we would know how to fix it" Moblit reassured her. He is certain of his words for her.

Hanji couldn't help but giggle and approach the young man. "I owe you a lot Moblit" and squeezed his hand.

"So when do you think we should have it done Danchou?" returning her the warm soft squeeze that she just gave in his hand.

"Next week" and she smiled at him.

-x-

Levi was busy reading the book of 'Great Expectations', an ancient book that Hanji found very amusing. If ever they would see each other again, he would surely say that he is like Pip. He did finished a couple of books too, and he is eager enough to discuss and share everything to her, wondering if she ever finished everything else by her own or if he read more books than her.

Sometimes, he couldn't help but feel envious at some stories and novels, stating how they ended up happily ever after or the characters would tell and show how much they love one another. It makes him feel hollow. He despised reading before, but he doesn't have much of an option right now, most especially that he believes that this is the only thing that will make him reconnect with Hanji again.

He was suddenly surprised by the sudden open of his door room, revealing Moblit, smiling. The rookie who was watching over Levi who just fall asleep, was also surprised and woke up instantly.

"Why are you here so early?" Levi asked, his book clutched on his hands, closed. It's in the middle of the afternoon and he appeared all of a sudden.

Moblit wiped the smile off his face and stood still. "You are needed to see a doctor today, Heichou"

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes Heichou"

"I am not aware that I am scheduled to see a doctor today, Moblit" he said in distaste. Despite being grateful for everything that he has done, he still can't understand why he is asking him to go see a doctor when he just did last week. And he disturbed him right in the middle where Pip is about to find out who his benefactor was.

Moblit just stared at him. "Here Heichou, I'll help you. I mean, I'll carry you. You can bring the book if you wanted."

Levi sighed in defeat. Moblit carried him as the rookie helped him, opened and closing the doors for them as he settled Levi on a wagon to bring in the medic quarters. To his surprise, it took them longer than they had expected and arrived at the hospital the following day.

"What the fuck?" was the only thing that came out of his mouth once he finds out that he was settled down in a bed in a medical wing and that they are in Wall Sina. Everything seems too classy and sophisticated for a medical wing in any of the walls. His doctor doesn't stay here!? He was really buzzed. They arrived here when he was asleep, dozing off the entire day as he got his eyes tired of reading.

A doctor and his assistant tried to calm him down. "Please relax Heichou, you are alright"

"No I'm not. Tell me where the fuck I am an-"

"His wife will arrive soon doctor. We must get him ready before she arrives, before she even gets hysterical" another doctor added as he came in their room, looking worried.

Levi was suddenly stopped by his mumblings. _What the? Hanji?_

The doctor laid him down, his back flat on his bed. He didn't know what to say.

"Doctor, what in the world is going on here?" He asked puzzled, no longer caring as to what or how many people are inside the room already, preparing him for something that looked like a surgery of some sort. He feels like he is to be experimented on and be killed.

"Aren't you supposed to be just checking on me?" The doctor suddenly stopped working on his torn leg and looked at him quizzically but did not answer him.

"There. We are ready when you are Heichou." The doctor suddenly told him once he was done working on his leg and arm, finished preparing it for some cutting and stitching to be done for a long couple of hours. Levi can't see his face but he is sure that he is smiling at him.

They left him without a word and he was all alone again. Somehow, he has gotten to get used to this feeling of isolation, staring blankly at the ceiling, thinking of nothing, waiting for nothing.

That was where he was wrong.

The door opened slowly, and Hanji came in. He could not believe what he is seeing. Was he delusional? What did he ate to form illusions into his mind? Or is someone playing pranks on him?

He started to tremble as Hanji walked slowly towards him, as though her feet were too heavy to carry. Her face was sadly worried, sweat formed in her forehead. He could feel that she too is uneasy as he does, and it's making him feel oddly nervous too. 'What is really happening here?' he thought.

After what seemed like an hour of walking towards him, her feet heavy, unsure of her steps, she halted right beside him, tears threatening to fall in her cheeks but stayed put in her eyes. Her right hand slowly touched his cheek as his eyes were wide in surprise. Her touch sent electric pulses in his veins and he swear he could run with joy in just one leg and a busted arm. But he couldn't, and he is seeing her, Hanji is right in front of him, touching his cheek.

He was struggling to move but all the wiring, blankets, bandages and cloths over him made him unable to do so. He wants to reach out to her and touch her face, tug his hand on her hair and pull her into a long kiss and a long tight embrace. Nevertheless, he feels like crying the shit out of him, feeling tears also forming in his eyes. He doesn't know how to act or what to do. He shut his eyes, feeling her touch but opened once she had her hand away from his face again and slowly returned to her sides.

"I" she began, her voice wobbly. "I am sorry I was late. I had a meeting and need to make sure everything is alright" her gaze quickly turned to his metal helpers and cloths around him, making her feel uneasy as she tried to keep her tears in her eyes.

"Hanj..." his voice broke. He couldn't speak. It's like he had seen a ghost and no matter what he do, no voice comes out of his mouth.

"I... I know you're confused" she smiled at him, and he knew he could already die. She smiled, and it's for him. "but everything's going to be alright" she continued and traced his arms. She is tempted to sit beside him but she can't, she might burst out crying in tears again. She missed him, there's no denying to that. She misses him really, really much despite the pain and anger that she just felt for him.

As for Levi, even if he's not sure if he would still be alive after a few hours or not, he doesn't care. As long as Hanji is already is smiling, and it's for him, he feels better and wouldn't ask for anything anymore.

He still wanted to cry even if much effort holding his tears back, and he can already fell his tears running through his cheeks and there's only one hand that can swipe them all away in an instant. He wanted to say something but he can't speak, too much delight and shock of what was happening. Hanji got worried even worse and she slowly descended on his bedside, sitting and then placing her head on his chest, her upper body pressed into his own, looking for the same serenity that she feels whenever she usually hugs him.

"Don't cry" she whispers as he whimpers and tries to stop the sobbing. He can't believe what he is hearing, Hanji? Comforting him? Telling him not to cry? Now that made his tears roll even faster.

Her hand explored his chest, halted and run through his arm again. He wished to pull her back, she doesn't have any idea how much he wanted to hug her so tight that she could no longer breathe.

She moaned and hummed as her head rested on his chest, feeling contented, warm and just happy all over again. After minutes of staying like that, Hanji stood up and inched her face closer to him. He's struggling to move, but he's not talking.

"I'll wait for you, Levi" and she courageously kissed him fully on the mouth. He responded weakly as she kissed him slowly and pulled away, making Levi want to burst into tears again. His lips were dry, but wished she didn't mind and she continued kissing him, nibbling his lower lip, moisturizing it with her very own mouth. Her touch on his face as they kissed drove him nuts, and he wanted to shout at her, to tell her why she just won't stay by his side.

She didn't know if what she is doing is right, but her mind is convincing her that it is wrong, no matter how much her heart refused to say the opposite thing that her mind is forcing her to feel and think. She just needs to find if there are still a spark of love or any kind of sweet affection if she kisses him, just want to see and realize if there would still be hope for them both.

Once she parted her lips from him, she rested her forehead lightly on his as she run a finger on the tip of his nose. She asks herself if she missed him and tries to see if he misses her in return too.

"S-sstay. Please." He finally spoke. It's a good thing his tears are no longer falling down on his cheeks.

Hanji lightly smiled and had replaced her finger with her nose, brushing to his. He miss this, he miss her nose, he miss her touch, he miss everything, he miss her kiss, her mouth to his, he really missed her a lot and he wanted nothing but to hug her, embrace her so tight until her bones crushed, consume her and show the world that she is still his.

She gave him a quick peck on the lips after brushing her nose to his again, making his insides giddy with excitement. He wanted her so bad that his heart is aching, realizing she is about to leave once again.

"You'll see me again once you wake up." And she finally stood up, placing a small, sad smile on her face.

Her hand run to his right hand, and as he grip on it tightly, he felt the rings that they have vowed over one another, that they'll stay together, no matter what happens. And it made his heart stopped. She is still wearing it, after what had happened between them as his was eaten by that fucking titan together with his left arm.

"W-wait." He was gasping, struggling to talk, forcing himself to move and Hanji looked back at him, her worried and sad expression not fading away. He cannot really understand why he is uttering and can't form a single good thing to say to her.

She faced him again and wiped the cold sweat in his forehead with her bare hands. She gave him a final kiss on the lips, pressed harder, until he opened his mouth and they prolonged the kiss. He didn't know where the energy came from but he kissed her back, as his tongue licked everything inside hers, fast but soft. He missed her so much, every single bit of her. She was the one who pulled away, a bit forcefully since he doesn't seemed to stop and stared at him for a second. She flashed; she shouldn't be doing this, not this kind of kiss.

She tries to convince herself that this is just a trial act of affection, just to know if there would still be something between them, a little light of hope for their love. She wanted to convince herself that it was nothing, but her heart beats for something else, and she is not happy about it. She is still not yet ready enough to share those same kisses with him, and wonders if she really does need to do this to him anyway.

She quickly turned on her heels and made her way towards the door. Her hand landed on the doorknob, and shakily turned to open it. But before she made her way out and calls for the doctors, she was halted again by Levi.

"I love you." He tried to say with his might, hurting his throat, voice cracked but fortunately, she heard him.

It rang a bell on her head, triggering a lot of sweet torturing memories. Something he had done right after the night he proposed to her, and now he does it again before she heads out the door. Some kind of reminder to drill in her head. She looked at him slowly, but there was a sudden fear and sadness written on her face, her mouth open, swollen and numb with his quick deep kiss. His eyes were hoping for a sweet reply, but nothing came, and he feared that he fucked things up again, now that she went outside, telling him nothing in response.

He laid on his bed, looking at the ceiling once again and hoped that Hanji will be the first thing he sees when he wakes up, no longer wanting the isolation of his heart.

**-x-**

Levi woke up after the surgery. So it was indeed a surgery, he thought. He was down to sleep and he didn't know anything else that had happened.

He saw the same ceiling that he saw before he slept and tried to feel his body. Something feels wrong and heavy. This isn't supposed to be what he feels. He should feel lighter and incomplete. He tried to move but winced in pain. He scanned his torn leg and arm, and they are covered with cloth and layers of bandages heavily and can't see them entirely clearly.

He did checked his remaining leg and it is still in good condition and when he saw his right arm, he was surprised that Hanji was there, sat by his side, sleeping as her head placed on the top of her crossed arms as her right hand's finger is intertwined with his.

He wanted to cry and shout in pain and in happiness. It's a good thing he didn't wake her up, she is sleeping like a rock by his side, too peaceful and beautiful. He held her hand carefully not wanting her to wake up for a while. He enjoyed watching her, her breathing normal and everything seems to be alright.

He lied to his bed again flatly on his back, no longer feeling the tiny pain that he could feel within his torn ligaments. Whatever it is that they did to him, all he cares right now is his _wife, _here holding his hand, sleeping effortlessly peaceful.

He wanted to talk to her, but not until she wakes up. She looked tired and her eyes were droopy moments ago, figuring that she needs this sleep. He breathe in slowly, loving every minute that he spends with her. He is hoping that she won't leave him again, and he would need to apologize _harder _this time and do anything, everything just to make it up to her. Even if it's his life is on the line, he wouldn't care, just as long as he makes it up to her.

He was rubbing circles and massaging her hand carefully as he could, and then she suddenly stood her head up, her hair messy and adjusted her glasses. Realizing that Levi was already awake, she can't help but blush as he looked at him. She is still not yet used with their former sweet affections towards each other. She saw him holding her hand and feeling his familiar warmth. It's ironically unpleasant to see for her but she feels that she has longed for this, and is still denying that she wanted this.

Slowly, she crept her hands away from his grip. Levi was actually waiting for her to say something but he was surprised that she removed her hand from his in the process. His eyes immediately made its way towards Hanji's face, asking for her to be back to him again.

He silently hoped that she would speak, and she did, making him sighed in relief.

"How are you feeling?" her tone was sad and low, and she's staring at the floor as she sat.

He gulped. He wish he could talk like now and ask for forgiveness and explain all the shit he needed to say to her. First though, he needed to answer her question. "I feel okay, though I feel that my wrecked arm and leg are a bit heavy than usual." He tried to touch his other arm, but it was only a couple of cloth was the only ones that he was able to touch and linger in his fingertips, still blinded by what had really happen. "Do you know what they did to me?" Levi faced her, hoping for a reply but she only smiled at him lightly, making him feel comfortable again.

"I do. Do you feel any pain?"

"A bit, yeah."

"I see."

Levi can completely tell she's intense as he is, and the silence is really unbearable and new to them.

"May I know what are all these all about?" he asked again, he's dying to know and he can't completely still feel his self without gaining a bit of pain when he moved.

Hanji let out a small giggle and sat beside him in his bed, slowly grabbing his right arm and lifting it, placing it to her stomach, as if she didn't want him to let go and just hold on to her. Moments ago she didn't like seeing him touch her hand and now she is the one who's making the move again, and it's making her head pound in pain and in confusion. She took a quick glance at him and he could swear that she smiled, but he is sure too that she is trembling. Levi calmed down and felt better when Hanji started to hold his hand and made out little shapes on it by her fingers. He really missed her a lot. He closed his eyes in contentment but is still eager to start a good conversation with her.

"Are you alright? You're trembling like hell, what's wrong?" There he is again. He wanted to talk nicely to her, scared that he might destroy the fuck out again.

"It's nothing. I didn't…. I thought…" she exhaled and stopped tracing his hand, making him open his eyes in a heartbeat.

"You thought what?"

"Nothing." She muttered.

He didn't want to force her to say it if she doesn't want to, they might just argue again and he is scared to lose her all over again too.

"You'll be able to open your gifts on Wednesday next week." She spoke.

"Gift? What gift? And why would I even have some shitty gift?" he realized that he chose the wrong words again and mumbled, "I'm sorry."

Hanji lightly smiled and caressed his hand again, "don't apologize. That's the way you talk anyway" he doesn't know if it's a good response or not, making him feel that she just got used to it or she adored the way he talks dirty and shit.

"Well, the gift you're to open is those pieces of cloth and bandages that lingers on your arm and leg."

He raised a brow in question.

Hanji giggled slightly low, knowing that he still doesn't know what she was saying. "You just wait Levi, and you can open them on after two days."

"On Wednesday next week?"

"Yeah."

"Why not now then?"

"They are still not yet ready to open." He pouted secretly as he loses his patience.

"You know what's on that day, don't you?"

He tried to think, and nothing came to his mind. But he is indeed wondering why they are having such a pleasant conversation all of a sudden, has she forgave him already?

When he didn't respond, Hanji sighed, couldn't believe that he has forgotten already. "It's the date when you proposed to me, stupid" and she poked his rib.

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I can't believe you just forgot about that." She sighed again and Levi felt a complete asshole. How could he have forgotten such memorable thing between them?

"I'm sorry…" he apologized and looked away, realizing that he is an utter failure for being a husband to her.

She smiled but he didn't saw it, feeling humiliated by his stupidity. She hugged him by his neck, careful not to bump any of his parts that just came out fresh from a surgery. Her chin rested perfectly on his shoulder, nose nuzzling his cheek as hands glued on his neck. His remaining hand in response caressed her waist to her back, making her feel him again. She didn't talk, and so as Levi but felt each other's warm body to each other. She placed her weight on his upper body as she didn't break the embrace, careful not to press him hard on the bed. After what seemed like an hour, thinking she might have fallen asleep in his embrace which he longed for endless nights, she whispered on his ear, waking him up from the sleepiness that he is also feeling already.

"I'm sorry I left you, Levi" she didn't cried but tightened her embrace on his neck. She blurted it out, slipped and she wanted to punch her own face. Some intelligent human being she is, not having enough will to control her own tongue but somehow, hoping she means it any sort of way.

He didn't know what to say but he is sure that she shouldn't be saying those words. His nose traveled through her hair and cheek, nuzzling her slowly as she embraces him tighter. He wished he could return the same amount of gesture and affection towards her, but every move of his newly surgical parts are making him feel like hell.

"I miss you Levi" she continued. She didn't know where she got all the strength to say those words, but she wanted to tell him how she really feels deep inside. "I don't know what you did, or what happened, but I swear I'd try to forget." She shut her eyes tightly, trying not to see the same haunting images of Levi and Petra again.

"I should be the one who's asking for forgiveness, not you stupid." Hanji stood by her palms and faced him, their face only inches apart.

"But I left you?"

"And I hurt you." He managed a smirk to reassure her when her smile turned into a sad one. "I've caused you too much pain despite how you… cared for me and shit. You didn't even gave up on me." Her eyes drop towards his chest, and she could swear she will cry anytime now.

"Because I'm your shitty wife and I am bound to do that to you, you sexy ass." And she beamed at him. His hand made its way towards her hair, curling some that has been lying in front of her eyes then went to caress her cheek.

"So, what about it? I know it's pointless to ask for forgiveness from you, but I am certain that nothing will ever change how I fucking feel about you." He's having a hard time explaining and asking for another chance, she can sense it. His hand is shaking on her hair and head. His voice may be softer and more sincere, and she knows that he is sorry indeed.

"But I left you. It's not a good wifey thing to do" She closed her eyes in contentment embraced him again.

"And cheating and saying those words is not even a good husband thing to do to a wife like you, Shitty Glasses." She smiled in her embrace, squirming to his chest as she heard the same familiar name.

"I miss that shitty nickname."  
>"And I miss you"<p>

She lifted herself again, enough to see his entire face, inches closer than before. "I don't want you to mention anything about _that_, about what had happened, because it won't help me forget, but it'll make me remember." And she stood still to his side again, no longer looking at him nor touching him. Her eyes were a bit sad, hurt and a little _irritated, _as he could see it. She's really trying her best to forget it but if she would be honest, she hadn't forgotten any single bit of it and still, she can feel the pain whenever it crosses her mind.

"I still want to say sorry, way beyond sorry or the greatest fucking sorry that there is." It greatly saddened him to know that she still remembers, he has a feeling that they needed to talk about it but he is sure it'll just break her heart.

"I'll go get some food. I'm sure you're hungry" she didn't answer and immediately walked out of the room. Levi sighed, he is sure she's not yet totally have forgiven him, not knowing if Hanji has already accepted his apology too.

After a few minutes, Hanji came back with lots of food on the plate, mostly veggies and meat. That's when Levi realized that his stomach is grumbling of hunger already. He didn't even knew how the long the surgery took, and seeing what Hanji brought made his mouth water like shit.

"Here, eat." Hanji speared some chunk of meat and fed it to Levi. It's a good thing his slightly sitted, not totally flat on his back anymore and he can eat properly. He chewed it fast, and Hanji took another set of veggies and had him eat it. "You need protein so your muscles will gain back and heal faster, while the vegetables here will provide you the nutrients you need."

"You sound like a doctor"

"Hmm… " a small smile crept on her face.

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Not much. I had dinner before I slept here…"

"We can share." And he wished that she would, it's really nice when they eat together and she tries to bite his food. But that thought doesn't seem likely may come true tonight.

"No, you need this so you can recover immediately." Her voice is serious, but she does take a few glances at him whenever she will place the fork with food on his mouth. He thinks it's a good sign, that she can look at him a lot way more than he could even think. When they were done, Hanji placed the plate on the nearby table and rested her head on his bedside again.

"I feel tired"

"I bet you are. Go rest" and he pats her head, tug her hair with his still perfect right hand. He wanted to talk to her about the books that he have read and share their thoughts together, but he wanted her to rest for a while. Besides, having her by his side is just a miracle thing to happen to him.

He can't believe that she's here, back to him, trying to fix everything between them again. Once he recovers, he vows to make it up to her, no matter what. 

-x-

**Guest:** Thank you so much! :) Really appreciated :D

**bomberman4242**: what's 360 no scope? O.O

**shittylittletea:** hehe I dunno, I just like Levi being tortured physically a bit since he is always seen being too strong and shit. Hehe, I always wanted to see Hanji break down a bit since she is emotionally strong so yeah :)

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shittylittletea

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	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

**Together**

-x-

Yeah well I named this chapter after the song 'Together' that is included in the Great Gatsby's soundtrack which was played in the movie and its credits. Really lovely song indeed. Thought it goes well for Levi and Hanji.

I figure it'll go well with this chapter so yeah, have fun reading.

-x-

Levi was greatly surprised when the cloth and bandages were detached from his torn parts, to see that it was a metallic leg and arm that had completed it again. 'That's why it was heavy' he thought and tried to feel its new presence as it is now attached to him. He thinks that he looks weird, but he thinks he is stronger and better this time. He actually didn't have any idea how it will work, and if they can work normally like how his previous leg and arm works before.

Levi tried to look around and look for Hanji, the very first thing he had done once he woke up from his deep sleep. She was not there beside him, whom she usually does and it made his chest tighten. He had to admit that having Hanji run out of his life before made him extra frightened that she might do it anytime now and leave him forever. He pushed the thought away and had breakfast with his perfectly remaining hand. Not long after he was done, that was the time the doctor and his assistants came in and informed him that they are about to remove the bandages on his body.

Seeing Hanji not there to witness and share the happiness of him being complete again made him feel even more numb than what his body actually feels. Moblit entered his room and greeted him with a small smile.

"Hanji Danchou is in scheduled to have a conversation with Dot Pixis today Heichou" he informs him when in fact; Levi was just to ask if he sees Hanji around or where she was.

Levi was surprised by what Moblit had just said. "This early in the morning?"

"Yes Heichou"

"What's so important that they needed to talk about it this early?" The doctors retreated, placing a pat on Moblit's shoulder and said that it is up to him and Hanji Danchou to explain to Levi how the new metallic parts works.

When they were gone, Moblit pulled a nearby chair and sat. He didn't break his smile nor his stare at Levi.

"You see Heichou," he begun. Moblit sounded serious and Levi continued to stare at him, yearning for an answer. "Hanji Danchou had been very busy formulizing and thinking of a way how to help you get your old self back while she was away from you." Levi glared at his now prosthetic hand, surprised of what he had just heard. "The moment she realized that she still loves you and decided to keep her marriage to you, she immediately thought of a way how she could help make you regain your missing body parts, she can't bear seeing you suffering and losing you to eternal hopelessness." Levi gripped on his bed sheet, admitting to himself that he didn't knew it was her all along.

"The entire time that she was away from you, she was able to do and accomplish a lot for the Recon Corps. She fought a way to find numerous of sponsorships for the other necessities of the Corps but what she was even happier for was that she was able to persuade a lot of people, most especially the aristocrats, to help you, to support her cause of making you capable of fighting again and continue being the hope for everyone, keeping your title as the World's Strongest Soldier" Levi didn't know how to react. Hanji… her love and loyalty for him was too much. He doubt if he ever done something to make her do such a thing for him, someone who doesn't deserve such great amount of care and affection.

Moblit was unsure if Levi can hear him and what he is saying because his expression doesn't change, and he stares blankly at his new prosthetic arm and leg alternately. He may be expressionless but he is sure he is feeling something regarding the words that he is saying to him. "Hanji Danchou may not just be able to say it properly but she is more than happy to see you doing so well after the surgery, Heichou." Levi felt better with what Moblit had said but he is still uncertain if they can totally fix their marriage, as he senses her sadness in the tone of her voice the first time they spoke again and how she changes her expressions from happy to blankly sad. He was just hoping that it would be just any normal sudden mood swings of hers but it doesn't feel right.

She's still sad and like what she says, she still remembers how he cheated on her. He is aware of how great her memory grasps are, and he fears that he might find it hard to have those bad memories erased from her head completely.

He exhaled hard. He didn't want to lose her and he needed to double his efforts if he is in need to save their marriage from its almost total eradication.

Moblit stood up and examined his arm. It looked really well and have recovered quickly than they have anticipated. "It looks like you can start practicing later, Heichou"

"Practice?"

"Yes, this afternoon hopefully."

He thanked Moblit with his words, enlightening him that Hanji _still _does love him and that she didn't went back to him because she pity him or anything. That word love sounds to cliché and unreal to him, but all this, it was only Hanji who had confirmed that such word is real. He owe her his entire life and can't wait to thank her when she returns.

-x-

Moblit told Levi that Hanji is bound to explain everything to him, since the doctors too doesn't know anything but the basic like what it was and how to attach it to his bone permanently. The feeling is weird and new again as he was able to stand on his own, but a medical assistant helped him learn how to walk again.

He was shaking real hard when he began, trying to make his way from the other side of the room to the other. When he made his way over the other side, he sighed in great relief. He wished to know more about the prosthetics that has been attached to him but like what everyone said, it is better if Hanji explains it to him everything.

Moblit went back to assist Hanji and told Levi that she might come back late like usual. He nodded and id his best to practice walking again, so he can show it to her, to show her that all of her hard work was done perfectly well and did not go into such huge waste.

The medical assistant was having a hard time assisting Levi, since he is still heavy, most especially that he added another drag of heaviness within his leg and arm. When he was helped to sit down to rest, the assistant excused himself and went to have a rest himself.

Levi was still into another round of walking around the room. No longer waiting for the medical assistant, he carefully fixed his leg joint and slowly stood up and took few little steps, holding into everything that he can. He smirked when he managed to do it on his own. A few sweats dropped entered his eyes, stinging it and he loses his balance. _Shit. _He doesn't have any idea of how painful it would be if he falls on the floor or worst, might get himself into some pretty deep fucking pain, and it doesn't sound like fun at all. He still made a few steps, shaken like some earthquake and sees himself falling, his face about to hit the floor.

He readied himself to hit the floor when sudden strong but soft touching hands caught him by his arms and underarms, pulling him up and making him stand straight. His arm was then placed into his savior's opposite shoulder, instructing him to hang tightly.

"I got you" and it's the same familiar comforting voice of Hanji.

And she does have him, like she had always. Hanji smiled at him, their face not that distant from one another. Levi immediately tightened his grip onto her shoulder and balances his self-back again, trying to make small sure steps. They walked in silence around the room, Levi trying to concentrate on his steps. He felt more comfortable and determined when Hanji accommodates him in his walk practices.

"You tired already?" she asked once she felt like they've been walking for ages already.

He grinned at her and shook his head back and forth, and that he still wanted to go for a couple of more rounds. Hanji smiled lightly and nodded at his desired plan.

"Levi" she began, they have been walking for almost more than thirty minutes already and Hanji decided to break the silence between them.

"What is it?" and he looked at her direction, forcing himself not to deliver his signature stoic face.

Hanji locked eyes with him them focused back to his steps. "I'll be able to do this more often with you now Levi" she said softly. Her tone was a bit shy, and he saw her blush a little as she looked over his steps. It made him want to pull her for a sweet kiss for looking adorable. "I told Moblit about it and he said he can take over a while when I am here. He said Armin is also willing to assist him."

"So you'll spend you more time with me then?" His heart warmed, feeling like a chocolate melting all of a sudden.

"Just a few hours every afternoon, not the entire day. That'll be too much to handle if I missed a lot of stuffs if I am gone." Then the smile that had crept just moments ago in his face suddenly disappeared. Still, he can't believe that she'll be sacrificing a few hours everyday just so that she could be with him as he improve with the way he walk and move. It's really motivating and encouraging, he owe her too much already, even if she is his wife.

"Oh.." it was the only thing he was able to say and focused on his steps.

Hanji let out a low, short laugh. "You're not my only concern Levi"

"I know." His voice cracked and silently hoped that he was. If only she was not the Danchou or if he could only forbid any kind of work to go to her, he will definitely do it just so that he can be with her the entire time. She may be his wife but she still has a tough job to do for the Recon Corps as well. He feels greedy, but he needs her. He missed her so damn much and he wanted to show her how much she meant to him. On the other side, he also thought how it feels like having Hanji for his own sake, with nothing to worry about but the two of them and their lives together. But as usual, life has always been to mean for Levi and he didn't can't make Hanji settle for such simple thing in life.

Hanji nuzzled her nose to his cheek, loving his smooth skin and ever loving scent. "You'll do just great, don't worry."

He stopped and Hanji was pulled in his sudden halt. She can feel his new strength now and is sure that he will still even improve more. She looked at him with puzzled eyes. He gave her a kiss, softly pressing his lips to hers. He was happy that he can now be the one to give a kiss for her, not just only her who has been placing effort just to deliver a kiss. She closed her eyes and deepend the kiss.

The kiss was light as a feather, making her want for another. When she opened her eyes, Levi gave her a smirk and shyly look away, her lips curled into a smile. "I'll do greater with you though" and he gave her a kiss on the nose.

Hanji hugged him in response, as his left prosthetic hand tries to claim her and press her body to his, which his right hand has been doing already. It would be better if the left is already working and could embrace her tighter. Still, Hanji's hug is lightly tight on his neck and her hand caresses his hair. She loved his soft short hair, and she purred while she hugs him.

"I miss hugging you like this" she whispered. She can't even remember when the last time she hugged him like this too was.

"Me too, but I hope my left arm can work well already." He complained as he tried to move it by their side. Hanji was still clinging on his shirt, as though she will fall if she let go.

"I think we should sit down. I forgot that I should be the one explaining everything to you" she didn't let go of her grip on his shirt and said those words to his ear. He nodded and she led him to his bed. She let him hold on to her tightly as he balance and fix himself towards the bed. When he is settled, he waited for her to sit beside him and talk.

Once she took her seat beside of him, she bent her head down on his lap, wanting to sleep for a while but she can't, still owing him an explanation of things. Levi caressed her face and fixed her hair on his lap and placed his hand over her stomach and left it there to claim her. Such gesture made her feel warm and more concentrated.

"I know about how I got all this, I mean with the additional sponsorship and shit" Levi started, feeling that Hanji is too tired to even start the conversation. Hanji nodded and Levi cradled her onto his arm. "I just want to know if they'll act as normal as my real arm and leg does before."

"Not really much accurate or a hundred percent though, they will give you more strength and tighter kicks and grips than before." He didn't replied, just waited for her to continue as she closes her eyes.

"I designed it actually, and thought of the finest metals and elements that could be used to have it built strong than any other ordinary prosthetics around. I had Moblit asked for its possible construction with the best blacksmiths within the walls as I talked the surgery over with Erwin and he recommended his cousin, one of the finest doctors within the walls of Sina. After talking to him about my designed prosthetics, he agreed, at the same time as the blacksmiths agreed to work on your prosthetics. I was so happy I thought I am going to lose my mind." She smiled to herself and to her words, relieving the moment of that very minute. Levi cradled her by her abdomen, pulling her closer to him.

"You should have been there when they said that they can perfectly connect the prosthetics to your bones. I smiled like some weird titan. I made the leg adjustable and once you lower your body, I hope it will perfectly bend on its own as well like any normal knee could." She sighed and had her hand grip on his pants that she is laying on with. At the moment, he feels blessed to have an overly concerned and intelligently smart scientist for a wife.

"I am just happy to see you walking today that I hurried to you, not realizing that I was already catching you from a fall" she giggled.

"I stumbled." And he smirked.

"But I caught you"

"Yeah you did"

She raised her hand and touched his hair then travelled to his face, now turning her head to face him. "Though about the arm... I find it really difficult to design" she lost her cheery voice and turned into a more serious and sad one.

"I wanted it to work as a normal hand, being able to control the fingers but I did my best. Neurons are not enough to be tied into some metal fillings, as well as the veins so I couldn't do it." Her voice was shaky and apologetic. She shut her eyes as she felt sad towards her failure. "I am sorry Levi"

Her hand dropped and she lied by her side again, not wanting him to see the tears forming within her eyes. "Don't be. You've done enough. No, more than enough" she smiled at his words. Somehow, she felt his comfort.

He touched her from her face to her waist to her abdomen, continued to cradle her like a baby. His soft touches were soothing and she wanted to sleep as she lingered on those sweet comforting touches.

"But the elbow joint should move perfectly fine as well, you just need to know how to lock them temporarily so that they won't bend when you don't want them to, and bend when you wanted them to bend. I just had your fingers curled a bit though; I just think it's a better idea. But I promise to find a way for you to move your fingers and grasp for things"

Levi realized how slowly he is being fixed and get back to his normal state, but if he gain back his arm and leg, it's still not yet enough. They're not functioning like the normal ones _and _they can't feel any shit, which is the main problem. He wanted to feel Hanji's skin on his like it normally does.

"Oh and your prosthetic hand has the same thing with the 3DMG so you can attach blades directly from it, no longer requiring the help of your fingers. So you can still help killing titans too." He looked at the opposite side of his prosthetic arm, and by the wrist he saw what she had said. He can still fight titans all along.

"I'll have it fixed soon Levi, before you even complete your normal walk and other movements so you can fight again outside" it pained her to say that, since it was the reason that he almost died and miraculously survived, and now she can't even believe herself saying that it is alright for her to have him fight titans again. "I'll be extra watchful towards you" she muttered softly.

He knew she was getting scared and concern for him, and he wanted her to stop from it even for a while. He can't be thankful enough but she's getting tired already of thinking too much for his sake.

He can't express how thankful he is to her so he captured her lips again, giving her a very sweet and slow kiss. Slowly, his lips descended on her ear as his hand lingered on her cheek. "Take some rest Shitty Glasses, and enough thinking for my sake. You're too tired, just focus on getting back your energy. I already heard what I need to hear" and he kissed her on her cheek.

She tucked herself on his lap properly and hummed to herself, slightly smiling. When she was about to doze off completely after laying on his lap for a couple of minutes as he cradle her, Levi whispered upon her ear thinking she's already asleep, making her tremble. "You do not know how thankful I am to have you, despite of being nothing, becoming even more worthless. I never imagined I'll have someone like you to love me." His voice weakened and changed his voice shaking as he tries to stop some sob. "And I can't even return to you the same amount of affection and concern that you have for me. Sorry being the real shitty bastard here." He breathed deeply on his nose and traced her cheek. "And now I don't have the balls to say all this things to you, my Shitty Glasses." He gave her a very light kiss on her cheek and she could swear she felt his lips tremble, wondering if he was shedding tears or is about to cry at all.

Hanji wanted to hug him and shower him with kisses but she still wanted to know more of his confessions to her. Why can't he just say it in front of her? Was it really that hard? She's very open and understanding, they've known each other for years too. They have done almost everything together and a conversation like this is hard to bring up? What's gotten in him?

Knowing him, his weakness is being affectionate, most especially on words that is why he is more into action, kissing her or even silently hugging her all of a sudden. He may not be wordy but he still desires to tell and show her how much she means the world to him.

The feeling of how they managed to fix things up and work things out after such horrible problem in their marriage, the feeling was just so warming, so pleasant to the core. He never thought that they could go back from the way they were before after such horrible thing to face. As he looked at his wife, sleeping on his lap quietly, he realized that he never knew that such relationship is capable of mending after a horrible phase. He felt that they are more open to each other and knew more about each other when it comes to each other.

He surrendered and kissed her lovingly in the cheek again as he cradled her to her sleep.

**-x-**

With much effort and perseverance to walk again and go back to being normal, Levi did his best to walk everywhere as he can once he was allowed to go back to their home. What made him more determined to get back to his old ways of motions is when he saw that Hanji's things were already back to its proper place in their home, the ones that she took with her when she decided to go away from him were back to its proper places. He smiled at the thought that she'll be with him again.

When afternoon came, Hanji would arrive and would dismiss the assistant that she had hired for Levi to help practice. They would walk together from shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm and finally, ending from hand to hand when he was able to walk pretty well like he usually does before. Within a week, Levi succeeded in performing properly with his walking. From small steps inside the house to the garden of their house, Hanji clasped in utter amazement when she finally sees Levi can walk properly on his own. It was challenging for him, but it was a very moving thing for Hanji to see. He can even bend his knees properly and with no extra effort.

It took Levi to learn hopping, jumping and running in his second and third week of practice, much to his and Hanji's delight. He just needed to be careful though because it sometimes pain his leg when the pressure is placed in there too much, maybe because the muscles are not that much okay yet.

Eventually, Hanji would leave him and return to work but Hanji was surprised to see that when she gets home, Levi would have already prepared dinner for them and she would be there, ever willing to help him eat to his self.

It was very calming for Hanji, having her stress throughout the day suddenly go away as she help feed her husband on the table. Levi would properly cook deliciously and make it extra presentable. He would even add different flowers from his walk outside, picking them for her. He knew exactly that she loves flowers and would smile every time he brings some to her.

As much as Hanji enjoys placing a fork full of food and spoon full of some soup to her dear husband, she still cannot remain calmly seated seeing him cannot move his left fingers and grasp for things. It was amazing for Levi to cook deliciously with the use only of his right and support of his left but she knew that he too also wanted to have it work well.

Because of that, she never stopped thinking for a solution for Levi's still non-functional left hand.

Levi did returned working for the Recon Corps, giving drills and teaching the brats strategies and other shits that would be useful for them in terms of survival. He is glad to have been working again, he is out from being trapped in their house and do nothing but walk and most importantly, he could see Hanji more often during work and watch over her, making sure that that Chris guy won't come anyway near her.

Levi was able to look normal under their casual uniforms which are long and tight, his straps even more helpful making himself feel more intact. Despite his prosthetics being one of the best made and designed, his leg prosthetic suddenly had its breakdown, having its joint stopping all of a sudden.

But it could be a great way in some other ways.

It was almost lunch and Levi decided to come get Hanji out of her office and pull her out to eat with him, when his prosthetic leg suddenly stopped right outside her door. He can't move or even drag it, it will seriously cause him too much pain if he did drag it and carrying it forcefully might tear his tight uniform around him.

Instead of shouting for some help from Hanji since he was just outside the door to her office, he was halted to hear that someone is in there, talking to her. And it's a voice of some guy that he surely would want to beat into a pulp.

"How much and until when are you going to allow yourself be blinded with _love _to this one fucked up guy, Hanji? Because you are far smarter than you are and I can't believe you are allowing yourself to mess up and sacrifice everything just for him!?" Chris' tone was high with anger as it was also hurtful, slashing like a sword, paining her heart.

She didn't answer him and instead took a few papers from her desk.

He grabbed her available wrist, forcing her to meet his face. "I am talking to you and I deserve an answer from my question, Danchou" he told her, pronouncing the last word pretty hard.

"How long are you going to stay stupid and be in love with that useless guy? Tell me because I am too curious to know." He was teasing her, she is sure. He is nothing but a pathetic fool who doesn't know anything about what love is.

She forced herself to face him, look at him straight in the eye as she answered with an answer even Levi, who was still behind the doors, unable to move his mechanical leg. "Until the end of the world." Her answer to him was straight and full of persuasion in her voice, making his hand let go of her wrist. Levi was surprised to hear that, though he knows that she is saying the truth. It is just too sweet and unexpected to hear from her it made his mind shutter.

Chris in return didn't know what to answer back. But being the big bastard that he is, he shouted back an answer as Hanji made her way towards the door. "You don't have to pretend that you don't regret marrying him, Hanji Danchou" he chuckled in the end. Levi heard it and felt a sudden strike in his heart. He remembered Hanji's painful words that night, that she regret marrying him and shit. He is hoping that she no longer felt that way with him, it makes him feel weak.

Chris knew perfectly that Hanji indeed loves Levi, despite the things that had happened between them but Hanji stayed as his wife, not letting go of their vows and of their love. Instead, he still thought of teasing her, making her feel uncomfortable and be reminded about the reality of her marriage to Levi.

Hanji was surprised to see that Levi was just outside the doors of her office. "What are you doing here?" She felt scared suddenly, fearing that he had heard everything that she and Chris had just talked about.

"I can't fucking move my mechanical leg. It's starting again." A small smile crept into her face. Levi looked like a helpless baby who got stocked with his walker and can no longer walk back.

She opened her arms to him as she approached him. "Oh come here you big baby" she clutched the papers onto her tight grip to her left hand, as she caught Levi into her right arm. Like she always does, she adjusts slowly the joint of Levi's mechanical leg. When she saw that he can move it again slowly, she helped him walk again, assisting him as he lift his right mechanical leg until it can finally move its joints on its own again and she finally let go of him.

"Better?" she asked him, her eyes twinkling with delight. When he nodded, she quickly grabbed his hand and walked away, not wanting to make a scene again when Chris sees Levi and Hanji together.

When they stopped in the middle of the corridor, Levi reached for her chin and pulled it in front of his face, locking his lips to her, kissing softly, making her moan and she caresses his chest to his chin to his face in return.

"Until the end of the world, Shitty Glasses." Her smile suddenly grew but melted away from her face in an instant, eyes falling to the ground. _So he did hear us. _And she felt nervous and ashamed all of a sudden. Then the scene of Levi having sex with Petra came over her mind again and his words, making her look into other direction. She wondered if she can _really _love him again like before and be with him until the end of the world. Her heart is still not yet free from the abominable pain, and it still makes her heart twitch in disgust everyday. The thought made her head ache all of a sudden too.

Levi knew that face that she was making. After being happy, she would suddenly change her expression into something worried and sad then she won't speak. He can feel that something is going through her mind all of a sudden, something reminding her to be sad and act like that. And Levi isn't fond of it, most especially that he knew that Chris has something to do with it.

In return, he can't say anything about it but hold her hand tightly into his own body. Telling her that he won't do such fucking thing again is not a good idea, let alone promise that he won't fucked up again. Her trust to him is broken and tainted, and he didn't want it to get worst.

Without any other word, he took her hand and intertwined it with his. They walked hand-in-hand, still feeling blessed that they are still hanging on their marriage despite how their hearts are aching. However, he hoped she won't pull her hand away from his.

**-x-**

Levi was carrying Hanji on his arms when they arrived back to their home and placed her lovingly in the middle of their bed. He took of her high ponytail up and run his hand towards her cheek. He missed this kind of thing, doing this to her and can't wait to be in bed with her and embrace her until he too falls asleep.

She was sleeping deep and soundly, lying by her side as her hand just about to her lips. Levi smiled at the picture of his wife's sleeping form and quickly wanted to join her. He changed his attire into a more comfortable one for sleeping as he took Hanji's pants and left her polo shirt on her. She liked it that way, just way more comfortable for sleeping.

He blew the candles off and removed the glasses of Hanji's on her nose softly as well as her hair rubber. He squished in and scooped her under by his right arm as his left landed on her waist and comfortably stayed there. He pulls her towards his chest but succeeded very minimally. Hanji opened an eye, realizing what Levi wanted to happen and she moved towards his body by herself. Her head rested perfectly on his chest as her hand gripped on his shirt while Levi hugged her gently, greedily locking her in his embrace. For some quite nights they were able to get back to their usual sleeping habits but this time, he wanted to do more than just a hug. He wants to show her how he loves her. Besides, he's always been better in actions than words, and now's the time he can't even talk properly to her.

Though he may wanted to do it tonight, he knew he can't and wouldn't like it, she's too tired to do such thing tonight too. After hearing those words from Chris, it wouldn't be a great idea if he'd make a move to make love with her tonight and resume how things were like before.

As he stared in the dark, Hanji tucked herself on his left mechanical arm. He thought that she might find it uneasy and hard to sleep with pulled her head instead on his chest and placed a very light kiss on her cheek. She needed sleep and rest after all the crazy things that she just had to face and works needed to be done. To add the harassing words thrown by Chris earlier which is not very comforting, he doubts if she can gladly focus on him if they do make love tonight and not on some of his past wrong doings. He swear that that Chris will have his nose go through his brain tomorrow.

Just remembering how Hanji and him made a dash along the gardens of the HQ, letting him practice his running and other skills was a huge warmth to his heart. Instead of focusing on letting him practice, they ended up stumbling on each other every time he would finish a lap and pull her down in the ground and lock his arms around her waist as she lands on top him and not letting go. He wanted to erase from her mind and heart about the words of that asshole and said on her, and at the same time, have her feel his love for her, that he too is serious that he will love her until the end of the world.

They didn't noticed until the skies darkened and the moon slowly crept up with the light of the stars around it. Hanji adored watching it and made her feel so calm.

"Watch the stars with me Levi" and he nodded in response.

They lied together on the ground and didn't said anything. He wanted to ask about her argument with Chris but he couldn't, afraid that she might remember his wrong deeds again. Levi watched Hanji watch the stars, twinkling with delight. She kept a small distance from him, her hands under head. He did stretched out his left arm for her to lie on with, welcoming her for a haven to rest on his chest. She didn't take it even if he didn't even actually told her to, but she knew that it meant that way. Then, she decided to talk after almost an hour of not talking and just staring at the sky. Normally, he would tell her that they should go back home but she asked for some time to gaze upon the stars and Levi can't just say no to that.

"You know, they said that when people die, they turn into stars." Levi turned his and looked at her. What was she saying?

"I know you don't believe that, neither do I but it sounds so... comforting." She smiled, as though she remembered something funny and went to remember it all of a sudden. "I don't mind turning into one if I die" and then looked at him. "If I died soon, all you need to do is look at the night sky and look for that red blinking star" and points up to the little star blinking, turning from black to red.

The words that came out of Hanji's mouth snipped something at Levi's heart. Even if she just assume of herself dying and turning into a fucking star, he can't bring himself to think of it. If she's gone forever, what would he do?

"Don't say such thing Shitty Glasses" not that he didn't want to agree on what she said about people turning into stars when they died but the thought of losing her is unbearable. "I will never fucking do that" his face maybe as stoic as usual but his voice betrays him, sadness can be felt and even fear if listened well.

Hanji turned to her side, looking at him with her face hurt of what he had said. "Why not? Is it because the night sky will turn ugly if I turned into one?" She found the red star a bit amusing, like a blood dripped on the dark sky night, very alluring indeed.

Levi scooped her by his mechanical arm as she helplessly landed her head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat and tucking her hands on his shirt. He didn't mean to sound offensive and hurt her but she needs to understand something else.

"I'll never ever allow you to die before me and let me fucking watch the night sky without you, that I will look for you whether if you did turned into a star or not? That's not fucking happening Hanj"" Hanji glanced at him even if he didn't glanced back at her, trying to stop the tears forming in his eyes. He would never ever allow her to die first and leave him broken, he will never allow her to leave him all alone again. He would gladly choose to live on a dirty castle or house full of bacteria and dust than to live without her. "Fuck with that. I'll die first before you could even do so" and he kissed the top of her head. After almost twelve years of being together, he couldn't afford to lose her all of a sudden.

She responded by tightening her hold onto his shirt and deepening her face on his chest. He's being selfish again. If he died earlier than her, then there would be nothing left to make her life worth living for. She wouldn't stand imagining him dying right before her very eyes and live the rest of her life without him by her side. Somehow, she regret her words earlier of her dying because Levi now is successful enough to let her feel the same thing if he loses her.

"I swear, I promise" he whispers in her ears and she smiled at him weakly when she saw him already glancing on her.

"You're being selfish"

"You are too."

"Or maybe we could turn into stars together" she said in her natural cheery voice, going back to her old self.

"As long as I won't see you die before me then it's alright"

"Not fair! I don't want to see you die too!" she pouted. Levi can't help but just smirk and kiss her nose.

"Maybe we could die together, like Romeo and Juliet" Hanji gasped on what she had heard. Since when did he knew about them?

"I read your books when you were gone" as though he heard her question in her mind. He didn't like the idea but if it's what will spare any of them for further pain, and then they have no choice but to die in each other's arm. "Romeo was too stupid to believe that Juliet was already dead."

"How is that?"

"He just needed some time for her to wake up, and he is too impatient and kills himself instead. If I were him, I'll just be by Juliet's side until she is buried and kill myself there, I'll jump on her grave and kill myself there. By that, no one will stop me and be instantly buried together with her" he explained.

Hanji laughed, can't believe that she was hearing it right.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing" but still continued laughing. "I pitied them both you know? Instead of living more days being husband and wife, they end up tragically dead. At least somehow, they both felt equal pain of witnessing how their lover die which is very fair."

"Yeah, poor bastards. And we won't end up that way, right?"

She didn't respond back, and Levi panicked in the inside and forced her to look at him, grabbing her chin and forcefully lead her gaze to meet his. "Right?" and shook her lightly by his arm.

She smiled sadly, unsure if they would indeed not end up like Romeo and Juliet but still nodded just to calm him down.

Levi slowly squirmed with his embrace on her and travelled down to her chest, and hugged her from there. He listened to her heart, beating in its normal range as Hanji watched in awe. She dipped her hands on his hair as he let her tangle her legs on his body. Hanji played with his hair and hugged his head tighter to her chest. Levi didn't want to lose her, and as he listened to her heartbeat, he tried to remember it, memorizing it so he would be kept reminded of her still lively presence. He never wanted to no longer hear that sweet rhythm of beatings ever again. If only he could wake up and sleep every night with that same sound, then he could no doubt, ask for nothing else. He can't stand losing her and will never allow her to live alone too if he would die first. They'd be together, no matter what happens, no matter how many people try to separate them.

Now that they are on the same bed, Levi slowly placed his right hand inside her shirt, placing it a bit below her left breast and left it there, trying to feel her heart beating this time.

He sighed and closed his eyes in contentment, he fell asleep right instantly, feeling her heart beating together with his.

**-x-**

**ELI251 **I appreciate your tears of appreciation of my fic, thank you so much for your support on this. I don't mind bad English so don't worry about it. English is my second language too and I'm not a perfect user of it so yeah. (:

**-x-**

hope the editing was fine.

see yah guys in the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

**The Map that Leads to You**

**-x-**

So yeah, this is a part of the song 'Maps' by Maroon 5.

Felt like it suits well in this chapter. And I can't take it out of my head.

And about the previous chapter, I do love Romeo and Juliet like a lot, most especially Shakespeare. I also assume that they kinda exist in their world since Hanji even recalls about history before like the knights and Sawney Bean, which is way past already.

And yeah, I believe this was supposed to be uploaded last two days ago and agrrrhhh. I wasn't even able to do major editing in this chapter and it sucks. Anyway, I still hope you enjoy reading this chapter and reviews are very well welcomed.

**-x-**

Hanji and Levi were slowly coming back to their usual old times together. Hanji now could lean in with no regrets onto his kisses on her and he would give her cheek a kiss in front of everyone or anywhere. She would hug him tight and clung into him if he thought of fetching her inside of her office, as he would find her sitting on top of her table and from there she would hug him. They were starting to get back to know each well again and fill up each other of what they've missed.

The following days went better and casual like before for them both, doing great with their missions most especially that Levi has finally returned and can now kill titans effortlessly, but still in a bit adjustments but Hanji couldn't feel even happier for his great comeback, most especially that her wonderful ideas and plan went well for Levi's recovery of his body. He still does look like the same, since his clothes mostly covers his prosthetic parts and could only show a little of it. Nonetheless, he's like one of her successful experiments ever.

She thought about it, he _was _always the best experiment in her life. From the way they even started their relationship until they married, everything was not planned but was rather 'experimented' and tested and was found successful in every way. She never had expected to have her husband be the best experiment in her life.

She was marveled and looked at Levi as he swung and fly, killing and targeting numerous of titans just like he was before, looking at him with a wide smile on her face and hands clasped together. When he was done, he was fully aware that Hanji was watching him and walked towards her.

The others were already going on their way and they were left to finish a couple of titans in the left side since a huge number of titans appeared and he needed to help. Hanji couldn't stop worrying and followed without him knowing.

"Didn't I told you to stop worrying?" he told her with a wobbly voice. As much as she's concern towards him, he is too towards her.

"You are so back to yourself Levi." She gleefully replied as though she didn't heard the irritation on Levi's question and embraced him quite rather in an instant. Moblit was watching the two, making sure that they are to be alerted if something bad goes on from a distance.

Levi smirked but was more worried about her. She's the Danchou and all orders of direction are coming from her and she's here on his arms, giggling like some kid instead of instructing their soldiers on what to do.

"I thought you won't be able to do it." Hanji whispers on his ears.

"You should be instructing everyone about our directions, not getting all this giggling towards me Hanji" he held her chin and stared at her in the eyes. She smiled and kissed him on the lips.

"I've told them to go straight in the nearest camp and should rest there for fifteen minutes or more until I made decisions where to go next" she replied breathless.

"But in truth you just sneaked out so you can keep an eye on me."

"I just wanted to see my husband kick some titan ass" Levi smirked and pulled her into a tighter embrace. It may be annoying but it was sweet of her, doing her role as his wife. Besides, there's no need to worry since she was able to place final orders before sneaking to see him.

When they got back to the walls, Hanji has thought of finally placing Levi back as the Captain and remove Chris from being the tentative captain.

Chris was fully aware of her plans since he saw how Levi fought all the titans like usually does, and he had a hunch that his ass might finally get kicked down now and be somebody's assistant or some shit, and he didn't like that thought.

It didn't take long for him to finally confirm Hanji of her plans towards Chris and decided to had a little conversation with her. He watched carefully and approached her when Levi was not around her so he could talk to her as smoothly as he wanted. Hanji went inside her office and sent Moblit on some errand and Chris went inside, such great timing indeed.

"Danchou" he started, voice always too flirty on her ears.

"Oh Chris! You didn't knocked I suppose?" She thought that this is now time should could use to tell him that he is about to have his ass out of his squad and had Levi be the Recon Corps' Heichou once again.

"Well, why should I?" he raised brow, irritating Hanji.

"I believe I need to inform you about your position now on the Recon Corps, Chris. Since Lev-"

"I know, I'm not stupid. I don't care, do whatever you want, he can be Captain again, ain't my loss anyway." He chuckled and didn't show any sign of anger.

He made his way towards her chair and sat, placed his boots on top of her table like some boss he was.

"So it's official now then. Get your feet of my desk Chris." She gritted her teeth. Damn she wanted to dispose of this guy.

"How did you manage to forgive Ackerman, Danchou? After learning how he fucked Petra when you were still in a relationship? When you were so in love with him as he fucks your comrade around the headquarters?" he smiled at her and is now starting to have fun. He sure loves to tease her a lot.

Hanji didn't move from where she was standing. Her hands balled and eyes dropped to the floor. She knows what he is saying, and now she too realized and thought about his question. How _did _she manage?

"You are one hell of a really understanding wife, Danchou, or maybe a martyr. Aren't you scared of him cheating on you again? He just proved to himself that you won't even last a year without him nor really leave him the least." He does sound amazed and surprised, but he does want an answer, just curious of what she is to answer to his questions.

Hanji felt as though her heart was being tightly held inside of her chest. It's hurting her and mind is becoming cloudy with uncertain thoughts. She didn't want to listen to Chris but her ears does and it's not good. She has left the negative emotions long before and had sworn she has forgotten of Levi's infidelity but has she? The same feeling is going back again, so she thought, has she really had gotten over from Levi's infidelity?

She did left Levi for a couple of months and then managed to forgive him, she believes and set aside the unwanted negative feelings but now that she is being reminded about the possible fact, she can't help but feel worried.

As he saw Hanji didn't move nor answered back, he smiled devilishly to himself. He stood up an approached her and lightly placed his hands on her shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"Danchou, Danchou. I know it hurts but you don't need to be treated in that kind of way like you're some trash or some slave to him." Hanji didn't faced him, eyes still glued on the floor.

"I am perfectly sure you know how he fucks you and made Petra feel the very same feeling like yours. She had tasted your husband and he had tasted her. You don't deserve an unloyal man like him as a husband." He pulled her chin up and she was forced to meet his eyes despite her efforts not to.

"You don't deserve him, you still have your liberty to run away and be free like any woman and try to taste other man out there. It's not yet late for you Danchou. For a woman who's loving and loyal to a man like you, you deserve to be treated the same." Chris forcefully hugged her and she didn't hesitate. She didn't squirmed away nor moved from his embrace, and she could swear that the pain in her chest is starting to make her eyes wet.

"It's okay to cry out on me Danchou, I can feel you." His hands crept on her hair and carefully pats her head. "I know. The way he enters her and make her wet just like what he does to you, why can't he just do it to you alone? And his words, that you got nothing much compared to her? That is complete deception Danchou! A total betrayal of your marriage! Remember, a betrayal and infidelity in secrecy, is still a betrayal and infidelity." He stopped when he felt a sharp metal was his chest.

"Go sniff someone else's problems. You don't need to fuck around me and Levi's marriage. Speak again and I swear I'll blow each of your lungs a hole." She said it with pure disgust and hate, then he looked at him with eyes about to kill.

He is right, every bit of his words, but no matter how much he is correct and accurate, he doesn't have the right to insult Levi and talk about her marriage just like that.

Chris only laughed and let go of her. "I prefer that kind of pain rather than the pain I will feel from my lover who will cheat on me." His whisper was enough to make a tear roll down on Hanji's face and bit her trembling lip hard. Somehow, she can't deny that he is saying a horrible truth.

Chris made it out of the door and Moblit came just in time he went out. He saw how Hanji crept on her chair and sighed, placing her head down the table, wanting to sleep the pain away instead.

"Danchou, are you alright?" Moblit asked. He didn't like the atmosphere that Chris left inside the office of Hanji.

"Yes I am. I just inform him that he is no longer the captain. I just need to shut my eyes." Moblit sensed that something more than that.

He decided to went out and leave Hanji sleep for a while. He quickly saw Levi giving drills on the new recruits as he practices too in the fields and talk to him about what had happened and how Chris went out with a big smile on his face. Levi felt his blood boil.

"Where is she?"

"Sleeping in her office."

"I need to go there and see her." Moblit was about to pull him and tell him to just let her rest but Levi was quick and dashed inside her office.

Hanji was still there, head on her arms sleeping uncomfortably on the top of her table. He could swear that she'll have her back slouch harder once she wakes up.

Hanji felt a pair of hands that lightly shook her from her sleep and she groaned.

"What is it Moblit? Didn't I said th-" Hanji was surprised to see that it wasn't Moblit at all. She isn't ready to meet Levi and seeing him at this very moment, her chest tightened with anger and pain and felt her body tremble in despair.

"I know that he went here. What did he told you? Did he hurt you?" Levi asked softly. He kneeled down to see her face and search it. He can feel that something has gone wrong. She didn't smiled nor touched him, she was just staring at him like some stranger.

"I just told him that you are to be the captain again and that he'll be just any ordinary soldier around and that he would be informed soon of his new squad." She returned to face her table and wanted to descend her head to sleep again. Her head was pounding from the sudden wake that Levi did to her, and she wanted to continue to her sleep. She touched her head and slightly closed her eyes, she really needs to put her head down and rest.

Levi eyed her carefully. He could swear that something is up and is not good. "That's not just had happened, isn't it Hanji?" he touched her hand and she shivered. She was supposed to be used and loving his every touch, but now it's suddenly different.

"My head is pounding Levi. We can talk later. I want to sleep." She replied without even lifting her head to look at him.

Levi sighed. It only took a few minutes and Hanji was again knocked down, sleeping like a rock. Levi scooped her on his arms and brought her home. He didn't want her to wake up with an aching back and didn't meet the eyes of everyone along his path as he carried her. His face was blank and everyone got out of his way.

When he reached home, he gently tucked Hanji on their bed and she instantly squirmed on their slowly traced with his finger the feature of her hoped when she wakes up, she'll tell him of what had happened.

Unknown to Levi, that as Hanji sleeps, she could swear that she could feel her heart starting to crush hard into pieces and had her mind let her see of unwanted things about Levi and their future.

**-x-**

This is not supposed to happen. But it's happening again. Levi couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I'm sorry I fucked up Hanji, but I am asking you please, just please..." he's kneeling still in front of her, kissing her clasped hands on his, massaging his cheeks onto those hands of hers when he stops the kissing.

Hanji was looking at him with dead eyes, no emotions and just blank. "I'm sorry I can't forget. I really do wanted but I just can't erase them" Hanji said as she slowly begun to sob, her eyes were closed as her tears runs down on her cheeks. She can't forget and move on easily, she just can't, no matter how much she tried.

He whispered shallowly onto her, feeling his self-getting panic from within. "Don't leave me..." His heart is breaking into two, he could feel it on his chest. The sight of Hanji crying again because of him- he can't bear making her cry again anymore and he wanted to be atone for it, have his arm and leg cut again, or be stabbed as many times as she would like. If that was the only way she could forgive him and forget everything, fuck he'll do all those shit.

"I know you never wanted to hurt me at all Levi, I do believe you but I just can't seem to forget horrible memories. It was just too painful to bear and if we both wanted for me to feel better, let go of me, just for a week Levi, just a week." He didn't looked at her, he didn't want to face her because a tear just fucking made its way towards his cheek and another is now ready to make its way as well.

"I can't just allow you to leave me everytime so that you can find the feeling of yearning again towards me. I don't like that idea, it's just fucked up." He can't believe that her leaving was just an easy decision to make and to do. How can she believe that it will help them solve their problem, by leaving him? Even if it's just a short period of time, it'll surely place Levi in a state of despair.

"I know but just let me forget, let me miss you someho-"

Hanji stopped when she saw Levi rubbed off something from his cheek and in the corner of his eye, jaws tightened as his right fist balled. _Was he crying? _She didn't know. He let go of her hands slowly, stood up, eyes hiding behind his hair, hiding his emotions, not wanting to show her how much he is deeply hurt by her decision. Even if it's only for a week, what if she thought of never coming back anymore? Or what if she decided to do it more frequently? He wanted to fight and strengthen their marriage, but how can he if she needs to frequently go away?

He made his way to their bed, sat and had his hands pressed on his eyes. He didn't want to watch her pack her things and go away again. He can't bear to watch her make her way towards the door and never come back. Even if she does come back, her going away, leaving him still fucking hurts. He may be able to live alone in their home but she knew that he is still somehow emotionally dependent towards her. He fucking needs her, more than that, he fucking love her so very, very much. Thinking of it made him grip on his eyes even tightly so he can stop the tears from falling.

Hanji's sobs soften, but seeing how Levi reacts like that, she can actually see his sadness. He is hurt by her decision, seeing him go away now made her rethink of her decision once again. Is she doing this for them or for herself? Is this even right after all? Why can't they just find conversation a solution to their problem like any other married couple does? She knew it's not right to leave Levi alone, he practically got no one, only her. They both have a huge responsibility towards each other, and that they are aware of. She loves him, and she is certain of that but she is too fragile to even delete some horrible memories out of her memory bank and heart. She could still imagine perfectly how he kissed and enjoyed fucking Petra even if she didn't witness them herself. She was too imaginative and his words itself was beyond for her to control herself from not crying.

In the midst of it all, has she forgotten that he loves her?

She slowly walked towards him and she could swear that he is sobbing so soft that if you didn't focus on his figure, you might think he was just laughing. His shoulders were shakily moving as he tries his best to glue his hands to his eyes. She stopped right in front of him and she caressed his hair softly, despite her hesitation of doing so, fearing Levi might just push her away from him.

But he didn't. Instead, without lifting his head to look at her, he removed his shaking hands away from his eyes and snaked to her waist, hugging it very carefully as though he might hurt her if he didn't. From his hair, her hand rested on the back of his neck, slightly pushing his self further to her, encouraging him to cling on to her.

Hanji broke the eerie silence between them. "Levi... I am sorry, for being weak."

Did he hear her right, that she said that she was weak? Where the hell did that came from and would she feel such a thing? After enduring him despite him cheating on her when they were still just dating, after she endured all the nerve-wrecking procedures and shit she need to face just to have him gain back what he has lost and most especially, she fought hard despite all the gossips, despite the harsh thoughts over him, she defended and stood by him, even if she herself is breaking as she remembers he and his words when he cheated. And then she'll say shitty things like she's weak? What the fuck was that for?

"It's my fault. You are not weak. You didn't do shit. If I didn't do it, then we'll be pretty well by now and not having this trouble, not having our marriage on the line" he bluntly replied. "but if it makes a difference now, I hope you know I didn't meant to say those words to you. She maybe tighter, but yours the tightest I swear and I am honored to have you loosen yourself for me as I loosen you with all my will and only because of me, and I can't thank you enough for allowing me the very first of everything about you. You're the bestest in bed that no one could ever replace. If I even had fun with her, then I shouldn't have cried that time and wished we didn't stopped. You are my only life, not her." and he couldn't continue any longer. "I'm fucking serious." Was all he managed to add. He is honest of his words and knew perfectly that what he felt with Petra was pure lust, not love. He knew it's pointless but she needs to know, not that he wanted to make it up to her but he wanted to clear things up and hopefully, she will believe him.

Hanji loves Levi, and there's no way for her to deny anymore or prove to herself that they do not the share the same feeling of being with each other's arms. She tugged his head even more to the middle of her chest. His breathing was hard and heavy as his arms were trembling under his warm embrace on her waist.

Levi then loosened his embrace on her. "If you're going to leave, then I'll help you pack your things." He said that as if he wouldn't get hurt in helping her do so. He is just helping himself incapacitate his heart even worse.

Hanji was surprised of his sudden bold move and smiled softly. Slowly, she descended herself, now it's her time to kneel on the floor and look at her husband and have a peak on his face. The tears were gone but his eyes were red from the rubbing of his hands, trying to stop himself from crying just few moments ago. It's disheartening really to see him like this, the World's Strongest Soldier being hopeless in his marriage. She didn't mean to make him suffer like this too, it's really upsetting. She never even thought that she is worth enough to shed tears with in a relationship for and here it is, even the world's strongest man was the one who is shedding tears in defeat just for her.

She closed her eyes and inched her nose closer to Levi's, as he did not move. She shouldn't be doing this because it just makes his heart crumble even more, the fact that he will miss her being sweet and shit like this towards him and he won't be feeling this for another set of days.

"You are free to stay if you want to. You don't have to leave just to feel better." As though feeling her sudden change of plans, he tugged his left mechanical hand and had her hair tie hook on its fingers. Her hair fell on her lower than her shoulders and her glasses went to the tip of her nose. He played on her hair, trying to remember all the sweet memories that they had before all this commotion. How he just wished to have the same eternity of peace once again for the two of them. "We can do something about it. We can just write to each other what were the things we wanted to change or things that we can't say" he suggested. He is too desperate and now he is talking like some shit just to reach out on her.

He didn't mean to sound over dramatic or too emotional but fuck, it's hurting again deep down to his core. Levi's lonely whispers haunt Hanji, driving her even more insane. She looks down on the floor then to her lover's heartbroken face. Without hesitation, she removed her brown uniform and threw it on the floor as Levi watched in surprise. She is not wearing a bra as her nipples are very much obviously hardened under her yellow shirt.

"What the hell are you doing Shitty Glasses?" he asked in choking manner.

She didn't answered but her breathing quickened. Levi was astonished by what she is doing right now. For the past weeks, he tried to check if they can get back their previous happy sex life back but the moment he squeeze his hands to her breast, she started to cry softly and won't stop. Even if she didn't tell him to stop or the reason why she acted like that, he just had a hunch that it makes her recall the unfortunate words that he showered to her when he cheated on her few years ago.

But now she is trying, thinking that maybe this is the way they could fully mend their broken marriage, the last piece of the puzzle. They both needed to be reconnected to one another, heart, body and soul, completely, as one.

Her hand smoothed his hair, went to trace his ears and settle on his cheek. He closed his eyes, sighing in contentment. What was she doing? Doesn't she realized that she is just tormenting him even greater? "Hanji, look if you don't stop doing this, I swear I'll change my mind of letting you have your one week vacation without me in your life." And he hoped she does won't stop.

And she didn't.

She bit her lips first before flashing him a sweet soft smile before standing up, opened her shirt slowly, and had it hang loose on her, exposing the beautiful curves of her breasts. Levi had his mouth open, shocked of what she just did.

Not long after she placed herself on top of his lap, had her hand crawled behind his neck and placed him in a soft embrace, she smiled at him, and kissed his head slowly as her hand placed glorious touches along his hair. His breathing calmed down as hers becomes faster, as though she is nervous of some sort. Levi's hand explored the sides of hers, curious and find it cautious to touch her from her waist to her side breast. As Hanji settles her nose and lips on his hair, Levi placed very light kisses along the valley of her breast. When Levi feels satisfied on his kissing to her, his hands carefully removed her remaining upper clothing from her shoulders to the floor. Hanji's hands crept on his face from his hair and had their noses touch as they stared at each other, eyes both stinging from trying not to cry. Levi drowned into her softly into her chocolate brown eyes as though he is asking that, _is this okay? _Or _are you sure? _And as though he did vocally asked her, she smiled softly and nodded. When she did, she slowly kissed his mouth, slowly teasing him as she slid inside his mouth first, leading him, telling him that it's alright.

Levi on the other side was wondering why she is doing such a thing, most especially that she restrained having sex with him for how many months. He find himself a bit reluctant on what he is about to do, and yet he is still following her leads.

Hanji pulled away slightly, enough to have their noses still stick to each other as she dwell in within his eyes, trying to push all the barriers away completely, trying to get back to him entirely, forcing herself to remember that she is his as he is hers. She traced her fingers on his cheeks, to his nose and eyes and finally to his lips.

Then he felt determination to satisfy her tonight. He stood up, carrying her in his arms and descended her slowly on the bed, loving how her body arched in his mechanical arm, not breaking their stares. Hanji's hands crawled on the back his neck for support and lovingly kissed him on his mouth as he responded gently as he could, wanting to close the gap between them.

When he breaks the kiss, he immediately stumbles on her pants, wanting to open it and indulge in. But only having one hand to do the job, he realized he can't open her pants properly with just one hand. When Hanji saw his concern, her hands slid slowly to her pants and had it opened as he looked up to her in surprised. In turn, she smiled at him, telling him that she got this and even worked on his pants too. When she managed to work on his, taking her time, he quickly pulled her pants from her legs and removed his entirely from his too, exposing her completely naked body as she tried to pull him by the back of his neck. He smirks as he does so and damn he is just so sexy whenever he smirks as they do this. She placed his arms to her legs and hands to waist and carries her again as they resumed their former position.

She was smiling with ecstasy as she resumed to sit on top of him and work slowly on his shirt. Levi was just staring at Hanji as she does his shirt done.

"Aren't you suppose to do something as I work on your shirt?"

"Yeah like what?" and he angled his face on hers, tilting his head like some kitty cat asking for food.

"I don't know, kiss me while I undo your shirt?" and she giggled.

"Staring at you is enough, Shitty Four Eyes" and he smiled warmly at her.

"I miss your sexy butt" She closes her eyes and removed his shirt quickly and leans in for a kiss.

After a series of long sucking kisses, his mouth went to travel and place kisses on her chest, her breasts and even her abdomen as she bends her body, being supported by Levi's stronger arm. She loved it and made her moan in every kiss on her body and Levi felt more eager to satisfy her tonight. he looked at the way she bends her body and it was just so tempting that ha can't help but plant soft kisses from top to her bottom, admiring how her body looked glorious as always, his hands tracing the kisses that he left making her want him more, shivering in delight, feeling her body wobbling. Somehow, she is now feeling that she is being electrified with a feeling of ease and the same lust and love she was longing for from him, and it's very intoxicating. When he was done and left hickies on each every trail of his kisses to her body, which he really wanted to do, claiming her his again.

Hanji was already panting hard and decided that it was already time for her to let him inside of her. It's been a long time since they last did it, and feared it'll hurt a bit harder this time. Adjusting herself on top of his lap, she held his privates and steadied it inside of her. It was a bit hard at first, adjusting and descending on it slowly as she could, closing her eyes and focusing on what she needs to do.

Slowly, Hanji rides Levi's penis, entering her slowly, pressure was a bit forceful, going inside of her deeper and deeper. She shut her eyes and bit her lower lip as she rides him as Levi stared at her, assisting her as much as he can with his arms. Breathing deeply and concentrating fully on him, Hanji can't still afford to not feel the pain. It's been almost half a year that they last did it, way before Levi lost some part of his limbs.

As Hanji rode Levi and as he assists her, he alternately caressed her hips to her side breast, Hanji's favorite thing for Levi to do, emphasizing her shape that even her didn't knew she had and kisses her from the mouth to her neck and to her chest as he gropes her breast and bites her everywhere, claiming her entire body to his.

When they felt like cumming, they both prepared themselves and Hanji didn't pulled herself out on top of him when Levi released his million seeds inside of her. He no longer asked since they both had a silent agreement, knowing when it is alright for them to squirt with each other's juices. Somehow, it worried him but he was also feeling excited and just wanting to give her everything he has.

Hanji caressed Levi's hair, gripping it tightly on her fingers, panting and sweating like thousands of liters, as well as Levi. She breathed heavily and fast on his ear and by his neck, making his hair involuntarily stand on his nape. Hanji then slowly looked at Levi by the shoulder and gave him a quick peck by the cheek and then followed by a loving kiss on the mouth. Slowly, Levi descended her again on to the bed as Hanji didn't removed her hands from her hair and neck.

They didn't broke the silence and their stare from each other, trying to locate themselves from each other's eyes.

"I'm sorry I can't please you much tonight" he sighed. "Looks like it'll be less exciting as before" and it made him worry. Hanji might look for other guys to have fun in bed with, to make her feel full and satisfied. It made his heart feel sink in horrible pure agony, imagining Hanji with some other guys, most especially that Chris guy.

"We, we can still try and practice to adjust to this new shit" and gazed over his mechanical left hand.

Hanji let out a small giggle and wrinkled her nose. "We'll see about that" and pulled him closer to a tighter hug. The thought still worries him, making him curl on her sweet embrace.

"Do you still want another round?" he asked huskily.

"If you can Levi" she said in between panting words from her mouth.

He smirked and moved in the middle of her legs and had it fixed on his waist. He straddled on her and entered her again. He sure did find it a bit different since she did became a bit tighter than the last time that they've done it, which amuses him greatly. She sure has some weird capabilities that is enough to make any man shiver in delight like that, and he wanted her only for himself.

When they were both ready, Levi pumped into her as she wanted nothing but to lock him in her embrace, closing her eyes and feeling him work inside of her. She even just managed to hang on his hair and gave a kiss of encouragement on his cheek.

As great as always, Levi managed to kiss her from her lips to her breasts as he pumps on her. After how many minutes of waiting and of tiring pumpings, he poured everything on her like what he did in the previous round, thinking that it was alright. Somehow, he wanted to thank his prosthetic leg since it barely gave him an awful tiring feeling like before and the pumpings that he made on her were a bit faster, perfect for her a bit tightened core.

In final act, he kissed her like some wild animal he is and rested on top of her. He longs for her and didn't want to let go and kissing her is also enough to let go of any bad feelings and thoughts to go away. He purely wanted to satisfy her and wanted her her to be reconnected with him in every aspect.

He was happy when she gave him small kisses on his cheeks and lips and embrace him tighter, leaving his right to caress her from hair and rub her back slowly with his fingertips. Since his face is just near hers, he looked at her but she didn't looked back, eyes closed but hands on is hair and head.

"Hanji." He called out to her.

"Hmmm?" she sweetly hummed.

He traced her side with his index finger and settled on her hand. He tried to sound convincing and pleasing, hoping it would reach within her heart. "I love you, Hanji." He muttered. She didn't said anything but just caressed his hair. Somehow, it still bothers him, thinking that she finds him no longer exciting in bed.

Levi kissed her in her cheek. "Please don't leave me." He sounded so different, like a helpless man in agony. It was not simply asking her, it's like he's begging her out from misery. He moved beside her so she can lay her head on his chest and he can hug her by her waist and have his cheek and nose rub into her head. He missed this, and he missed her more.

She immediately doze off and didn't said anything back to him, and it strangled his heart in fear. He tightened his embrace on her and didn't want her to go away.

Somehow, he wished that it was enough to make her stay and change her mind from leaving.

**-x-**

Levi woke up, literally jumping from his sleep. Before descending into a deep sleep, moments after his love making with Hanji, he thought that she might leave him if he sleeps and decided to keep himself awake until she wakes up. But the exhaustion of their love making drove him into a deep slumber and now she's no longer here by his side.

His throat ran dry and chest tightened with pain and fear.

_Where could she possibly be?_

He tried to remove the thought of Hanji leaving him in his sleep, but his heart is beating so fast that he feels scared already that he won't be seeing her again soon.

He stood up, and roamed around, just to see no sign of her. He checked her things, her clothes, her bags, books, and they were still there, still complete, he knows it.

"Hanji!" he yelled out, frustrated that she might leave him again on his own. He can't bear this any longer.

Levi dashed to his feet and picked his clothing on the floor. He swear that his right mechanical leg is giving him a hard time to lift it and slip his underwear onto it. He was able to make his pants on, panting in supreme anxiousness. He doesn't want her to leave, not again, never. To think that she hasn't accept his full apology yet and the way he had performed with their love making, it disappoints him to think that he could no longer make her happy like they usually do so before.

And now he is having the same feeling that Hanji felt when she found out about his words towards her, that she is not pleasing enough in bed and shit. It irritates him, and now he can feel her pain of the very same thought. He realized that he doesn't have any idea how much it hurt her.

He wore his shirt in fast speed and combs his hair with his fingers, wanting more but to dash outside and look for Hanji. He silently prayed that she isn't that far yet and that he could find her easily and stop her of whatever it is that she is planning to do on leaving him.

He first aimed to search in the HQ, looking for her in her office and her laboratory. He began to worried hard when he didn't saw Hanji inside, even Moblit wasn't there too. He may be successful in pasting his usual expressionless face but he sure hell feels panicky inside, and it's slaying him slowly. _Shit. _Realizing her laboratory, he quickly made his way in there as his prosthetic leg is starting to slow him down, halting slowly on its own. He drags it slowly, lucky that he was even almost there in her laboratory.

"Hanji!" he screamed in the top of his lungs and yet she is still wasn't there. Empty.

_Fuck! _

Great. Just great. His prosthetic leg is halting him with his search for Hanji and he doesn't have any idea of where she could have been. He knew that he shouldn't panic but he can't help it, since it is all about Hanji afterall. Like he always does, he followed his instincts, marching forwards as though he has map to guide his way to her, looking for his desired treasure of his life that he has no intention of losing to anyone. It was a map that is only visible to him, a map that had always finds her ever since the days he is pursuing her and her affections and it never failed him.

Now that he is in her laboratory, he is surprised to see the very least person that he expected to be there, making his body tingle with hate and fear of why he was there. "Looks like your wife left you again, Heichou" it made Levi's fist curl into a tight ball.

"Fuck. You." Levi replied, glaring at him icily, slowly turning to meet him in the eyes.

It was Chris. He is smirking down to him, laughing underneath his breath as he came in behind him and entered her lab, seemed like he followed his trail to her laboratory as he was looking for her.

"Maybe she realized you're the one now who's no longer entertaining in bed eh?" Chris chuckled and closed the door behind him.

Levi realized his new sudden nightmares, of Hanji making love with other man, most especially this guy. To make it worse, the words coming out from his mouth makes Levi think that his horrible thoughts are maybe coming into a near truth. Damn, Levi wanted to throw him on the floor and throw punches on him and pull his fucking penis out. If he ever touches Hanji, he'll sure to slice him into bits, slowly that he will regret that he even lived.

"Where is she?"

"Oh! We just had a wonderful time Heichou! You didn't told me that she likes being sucked and fingered hard first!" Chris exclaimed as grabs a chair to sit. Levi's eyes suddenly didn't blink. What the fuck was he talking about?

"She was… just amazing. Damn. Just thinking how we've done it the other day on her office, it makes me feel hard even right now. She even kissed like strawberries!" He licked his lips and looked at how Levi reacts so stoic and ironically alarmed at the same time. "I really wonder why you even looked for someone else to fuck with when Danchou's body was a real heaven and oh! Have I mentioned to you how she cummed? She cummed perfectly well with me an-" Levi felt an enormous rage coming from his very veins of his body and he could feel his body heating up with anger and before Chris could even get to finish what he was saying, the prosthetic left hand of Levi threw out a powerful jab on Chris' chest, sending him flying across the hard wall. Levi made his way towards him and grabbed him by the collar, raising him, making him breathe hard.

Hanji would never, ever do that.

Not with this fucking guy nor any other man, but only him. He's her husband and he knows fucking perfectly well that she just doesn't have the spirit or the thought of doing that against him.

But Levi cannot get the tiny queasy feeling that is bothering him, after dealing with all of the fucked up mess, what if Hanji _did _considered doing something the same, of getting back against his infidelity? No matter how much he tried to persuade himself, he just can't seem to calm his self-down.

His chest was breathing heavy and fast, his nostrils flared and his eyes were full of anger. Somehow, he doesn't have any idea how he could take it if what he is saying true.

Levi understood that Hanji has no other choice but to keep him since Levi hasn't recovered fully yet and is still below than his usual strong and quick moves. But he just wanted to kill this asshole, and he wanted it right now. He no longer cared how in the world his prosthetic leg became fully functional again and he approached the asshole on the wall.

He knew perfectly well that Hanji wouldn't do such a thing, and would _never _do such a thing towards him. But fuck, it still hurt. What if it's true? Asking it is already giving him a wide array of disappointments and deadly feelings. He loves her, and he knew perfectly how much she loves him. Even if they fought, argue or she wanted to go away, he knew she still _does _love him.

He can't stop the hate that he is feeling and without any hesitant feeling, he punched Chris right in the middle of the face. After giving him two more hits, his nose bleed. Levi then pulled him lower and kicked him right on the head, landing his head on the ground. Chris lost consciousness as he lay breathless on the ground. Just when Levi thought he already killed him, he suddenly spoke.

"You sure don't remember, don't you, Ackerman?" he laughed a few blood from his mouth.

Levi's face suddenly turned into a slight questioning one. "What the fuck are you talking about?" and he bangs Chris onto the wall.

"You will remember once I get to touch your most precious treasure, Ackerman. Be prepared to lose everything you have." He smiled at Levi maniacally; despite the hitting that he received it's as if nothing had affected him.

Levi tried to recall anything that has something to do with his life, but it doesn't ring any bell in his head. What the fuck was he talking about? He punch Chris right on the stomach, elbowed him on the jaw and kicking him on the rib. When he was down on the ground, barely moving, wondering if he is still alive, Levi kicked him as many times as he can right on the groin and Chris, eyes blank, had his hands moved involuntarily on his groin and hold it. Blood was coming out from the cuts in his face, his mouth and his face was sore and bruised, as well as his other body parts. Despite the pain that he had received, Levi felt that it still wasn't enough. Whether what he said was true or not, he just doesn't have the right to talk like that about his wife.

He quickly turned his heel and faced the door when he heard a few voices approaching the lab. The door sprang opened and exposed the laughing Hanji and her squad, Moblit at her side showing papers in front of her face. Her blood drained when she saw some things were on the floor that was sent flying around when Levi kicked Chris on the chest. It was not enough for him and had it repeated all over again and again and had Chris splatter blood from his mouth.

"What the hell has happened here?" When she turned to see and learn who the culprit is, she was surprised to see Levi and Chris by his back, breathing heavily, all eyes being sent on their direction.

"Levi..." Hanji's voice softened, pronouncing his name in disbelief. She was surprised to see Levi inside her lab, fighting over some guy, as she believes it, and doesn't even looked like he fixed himself at all.

And then it clicked to him. When he saw Hanji looking at him quizzically, he realized that she was his precious treasure, the only _everything _that he has. Without a word he made his way to her, not caring about the people who is looking at them. He hugged her so tightly that she can't breathe and even gasped and absently caressed Levi's hair, his right perfect hand making its way towards her hair. He leans into her, had his cheek crash into her cheek, inhaling her scent and had his nose traveled along her hair as he bends her down very little, backwards from her knees.

"I thought you were gone" embracing her fully with such want and greed, ignoring the worry feeling that he has within him and the words that he just heard just few moments ago even it still greatly bothers him and he could feel his heart thumping hard, feeling worried and scared too.

Hanji can't seem to focus on Levi since she could perfectly see Chris by the floor, bleeding and beaten like shit and wonders if he is still even breathing at all. Levi won't let go of her even if she tries to push him a bit away as carefully as she could since she knew Levi is having his I'm-worried-about-you-syndrome today and would be a bit hard to for her to tame him down.

"Levi what did you do?" she said as she ignored his worried words towards her.

"Levi, stop." Levi only tightened his embrace on her and it's irritating her already. She's confused and needed to act quickly if she needed to save Chris from death, even if she totally hated the guy.

She groaned in anger and looked at her squad and told Moblit to rake Chris in the medical ward since his injuries were serious and seemed like it's killing him. It's a good thing they're still there and that they're already used in to seeing their leader and captain in such dramatic scene, and so they took Chris out from the room and had him sent to the medical ward and retreated silently as they can as instructed by Moblit and shut the doors for the two lovebirds.

Hanji frowned and still tried to gently push Levi away and get out from his killing embrace. He had lost control already and even to her, he had lost control of his strength, forgetting that his prosthetic arm was even stronger than his previous and could kill anyone if he had lost control of his strength.

Hanji squeaked and didn't even tried to hug him even very slightly. She was already feeling numb on his embrace, can no longer breathe and needed to attend to Chris and look if he is still alive and to top it all, she needed to talk to Dot Pixis in a few minutes and she is still here dealing with her suddenly emotional husband.

"Levi, this has got to stop!" She can't help but to shout and push him with all her might, it's already too much. Despite her forceful push, she only managed to push him as far as fifteen centimeters away from her.

Levi stared at her in bewilderment. For years of hugging her, she never pushed him away nor shouts at him. His eyes grew in confusion and mouth jolted open. "But Hanj…."

She looked at him with dismay in her face and he searched it, searched for any sign that she is happy about his actions but what he could see only brought more wreckage in his heart. He opened his arms for her but she only backed a few steps.

"I don't have time for this Levi" her voice was monotone and her expression turned serious.

"Hanj, I just thought that-"

"Save it." Her hands balled hard and she turned her heels and dashed towards the door. She still have a lot of things to do before the day ends and she could not just tolerate him doing that whenever he wanted to, even if she finds it sweet but he needs control. Duty first before anything else, the only thing she always bear in mind.

When she exists, Levi fell onto his knees and his eyes were already starting to get wet. He looked at her as she exits and didn't even looked back at him when she got out. She didn't even said anything to him when he hugged her and only heard how she worries over Chris, not him. It's not like her at all. Was Chris saying the truth? Has she chose Chris than him? Is that reason why she suddenly thought of leaving him for a week, to test them both in her heart? He couldn't dare to think more. As he kneeled down on his knees, his hand caught his chest and gripped hard, his heart is breaking and is afraid of the truth.

"but I love you" he muttered to himself, wanting to tell it to her earlier before she left.

**-x-**

Hanji was able to catch up with her squad and helped them rushed Chris in the infirmary. He was bleeding everywhere and she fears he might just die due to the massive hitting that Levi just had him felt. He has cuts in his face and is bleeding as well and looked like his face is about to get swollen up. He can't even stand on his own and Moblit and the others have to carry him.

Once the medics saw how Chirs looked like, they immediately tend him to his needs and called out a doctor. They took Chris and had to treat him fast and had him placed in a room of his own once they were done. Hanji was left with Moblit and told the others to continue on what they were doing before and had the courtesy not to ask of what had happened to her and Levi, maybe she could tell them later.

"Nifa, tell Dot Pixis of what had happened and I'll be with him after I talk over Chris' doctor." She added once they were about to head out. Nifa nodded and went immediately to look for Dot Pixis.

Moblit and Hanji waited patiently inside the room of the now treated Chris as they wait for the doctor. Even if Hanji thinks that she didn't want to treat this hell of a guy up but things might get worse if she let him die. It took them about almost an hour to treat Chris fully back and his doctor refused to talk to Hanji not until he is finished with Chris.

When the doctor came in, much to Hanji's relief since she can now go and talk to Dot Pixis over some serious shit.

"He had a total of fifteen stitches in the face. He was beaten up so bad that his cuts were no longer ordinary and could no longer heal perfectly on their own. I though of stitching them up if we are to stop the bleeding. And expect that he will swollen hard for about a month." They all looked down to Chris and he is heavily breathing, hard and difficult.

"May I ask why Levi Heichou had beaten him up?" the doctor asked Hanji and eyed her carefully.

She shrugged. "I don't really know. I Haven't talk to him yet about this guy here." She sighed.

The doctor exhaled deeply and replied. "Maybe because of jealousy, I presume?"

Hanji's eyes grew and immediately looked up to him. "I... I don't know. He perfectly knows that there's nothing to be jealous about."

The doctor smiled kindly at her and gave her a light squeeze in her shoulder. "You don't know a man's hurting and jealous heart, Danchou."

She wished to replied something but couldn't find her voice. Her mouth was only draped open for a reply but she didn't know what to say to him exactly.

The doctor smiled reassuringly at her and she closed her mouth, feeling rather ashamed of herself. "I am too, married for over twenty years Danchou, and I know perfectly how a married man's heart beat for his wife." Hanji looked down at the floor then to Chris. She flashed over what had happened previously on her mind and thought it well over.

The doctor got out grinning at her. As she came into her senses, she forgot that she still needed to talk to Dot Pixis and apologize first, as Moblit followed her out of the door.

Duty first before anything else, she thought.

**-x-**

Levi silently returned to their home, readying himself of the fact that Hanji might not return tonight. He laid on his bed and didn't even took dinner, losing appetite of what had happened. He flashed the things that had happened throughout the day, and whether he didn't like it, he wanted to find out where exactly did he got offhand and might hurt Hanji or did something wrong exactly.

After what had happened to Chris, he managed to get back to the younger soldiers had them do some round circuits, barely speaking at all nor even focusing exactly.

He sat on their bed and still waited patiently for Hanji to return. By pass nine, she suddenly burst out of the door, careful with her movements. She saw Levi looking at her and locked eyes with him. He looked worried and sad, eyes soft and seemed in pain. She felt a sudden feeling of tense within her veins but managed to pull herself together and had the door locked behind her. She didn't said anything as she entered their little home and walked slowly removed her boots and threw by the door side, and Levi thought that it's a bad sign. She didn't had such a pretty day.

She steadied herself and went to the bathroom to wash her face, loosen her hair and comb it. She silently hoped that Levi would sleep and won't even wait for her to get out of the bathroom but as she opened the door, he was still by their bed, waiting for her, looking at her attentively. He hadn't even changed into his night clothes yet, what was he doing? she wondered.

He was just staring at her, and she tried to stare away as much as she could. Then she slowly descended beside him and sat beside him. He looked at her, searching for a single thing from her. He wanted to embrace her again, but his heart suddenly beat painfully as he remembered Chris' words about him and Hanji.

She inhaled deeply and exhaled loudly. "I'm disappointed at you, Levi."

He didn't answered but can't help but to wonder about what she was saying.

"I don't know the reason why you did that to Chris, but it's enough to make me disappointed at you." She said with all her might, she knew she might hurt him a bit but she still needed to talk it over to him and tell him of what she feels.

He looked at her uneasily, his heart slowly breaking apart. He can't seem to find the courage to talk to her about Chris. His greatest fear might be coming true now. He gripped on the bed sheets tightly and Hanji felt it and looked at him. This is it, she's going to tell him that she wanted it quits and what Chris was saying was true. She wouldn't get disappointed if that's not the reason at all. She might even be happy to see him killing Chris but oddly, this time she didn't so it most probably true, and he doesn't know how he's going to deal with it.

"Why did you that to him? After we took him to the infirmary, I have to talk wait just to talk to his doctor to find out that he had fifteen stitches and that he won't be much in a good condition for over a month. I was late for Dot Pixis and when I explained what had happened, he told me that with your actions, the supreme commander would want to suspend you for two months!"

Levi stared at her and seeing her furious is not a good sight at all. "I talked him out about you, and managed to save you from being suspended but it's still irritating. And nobody was pleased of what you've done Levi." She frowned, Levi still not doing or saying anything, he was completely rooted between the pain that he is feeling within him along side the somewhat happiness for saving his ass from being suspended, that because she needs him even in the field.

She calmed down a bit and relaxed herself. "You don't know... how big it is for me to deal if you're not there... and you get to be suspended, you... you'll just won't be there all the time. You'll get me worried all the time as I will do my best to just rush here and see if you're okay." She replied in a whisper, in truth, she felt shy about what she said but that's how she felt. She felt alone and busy and like shit when he is not there to help her out for work, just like when she left him. Despite that it was her decision to leave him and won't have him for work for a moment, it's still different.

Levi was surprised of her words, did not expect for those words to hear. Without looking, Hanji's right hand crawled on Levi's mechanical hand right beside her and held it tightly. Unfortunately, he can't feel it but he did see it. His heart ached after hearing Chris' words and his whole body longed for her touch of serenity and bring him peace and right now, she's giving it to the wrong part of his body. At least she is still trying.

His eyes fixed on the wall and managed to let out a deep long sigh from his nose. "He told me that you had sex... with him" his voice was deep and low and he didn't look at her, fearing of the possible 'yes I did' answer or confirmation of his forever doom but she looked surprise of what he has said and a bit frown on her face was written.

She held back a laugh. "And you believe him in that instant?" She now figured out why he managed to have him beat Chris into a pulp and ended up having him half alive and looking like a complete zombie.

Levi swallowed hard and pulled her hand by his mechanical hand and attached her arm to his mechanical arm. He really did not know how to tell her exactly.

"He told me you kissed like strawberries and... told me how great you are in bed." He tried to explain it to her but cannot find the proper words but somehow, he was already feeling contented with how he told it to her. Though he felt a bit shadowy of how he mentioned it to her and think of the horrible thought, he searched her for an answer.

Her face flushed pink and eyes glued on their linked arms. She didn't know what to say. Deep inside, she was feeling horrible for getting mad at Levi a bit quickly without knowing his true reasons but now, she understood that he was just mad at Chris for talking dirty about her.

He looked at her and she still didn't moved, suddenly he realized that she was feeling embarrassed.

He smirked, seeing how his wife looked pretty cute being shy and shit. "Come here" and he pulls her towards him by her arm. She sighed but smiled as he pulled her close to him and drape his arm over her as she leans her head down to his shoulder. Instead of placing her arms around his waist, she took the liberty to place her right leg on top of his normal left leg and he smiled to himself.

"I hope you didn't believed any of his words Levi. You know perfectly that you're the only man I wanted to share my body with, nobody else." She talked with a hidden feeling of being doubted within despite her sincerity and loyalty to him, like what she did was still not enough not to be doubted upon with. She knew no man that she would wanted to cherish even more than that of Levi. He is the only missing piece in her and she hope he knows that, as he is the only one that fits perfectly well to every part of her.

"Why is it that I am having a feeling that you believed him?" she can't help but feel rather a bit frustrated if he does because if he did, then there trust to one another was indeed tainted, that they no longer what to believe in anymore. "You know better than believing in a pure lie Levi" she glanced at him and he did likewise, he felt ashamed now of his question since he didn't really want her to feel being doubted or not being fully trusted.

"I did at first but then I realized, I shouldn't, because I know that you wouldn't do such shit towards me" he looked away, thinking whether he should continue or should stop with that. Levi imagined her going crazy like that from his very own efforts, but imagining her going cray over someone else's doing, his heart thump in pain. He didn't want to tell her about his thoughts of maybe she started to pursue other man now that he can no longer satisfy her perfectly on the bed, having his words bounced back at him when said those against her years ago during his betrayal.

He felt her squirmed and adjusted herself under his mechanical arm and her embracing him, squeezing him lightly. "even if I'd been unfaithful to you once" he whimpered, saying it in a very low volume that even Hanji barely heard. He knew he shouldn't say it because she too, didn't want to be reminded of his sudden unexpected infidelity but he wanted to emphasize his deep regret of doing such a thing to her, for them both. At the same time, he wanted to point out her will and her great acceptance of him despite of what had happened and the possibility of it happening again. "I'm sorry" he muttered, kissing her head.

Hanji didn't want to ask any longer about it and she sighed deeply. She stood up, breaking the link that they were having between them as Levi watched with betrayed sad eyes. He was deeply surprised when Hanji went on top his lap and placed her arms around the back of his neck and pressed her body closer to him.

She locked eyes with him, and she could swear that all she can see within his gaze was agony and guilt. She smiled a little and it made him feel warm and calm, placing his hands at her back and tightened their embrace. She buried her face between his shoulder and neck and held him close.

"even if the sun would refuse to shine and the titans would not stop from tormenting us, nor the wind would blow against our direction, I swear, I promise, I will only want you" she whispers it to his ear and Levi couldn't do anything but to tighten his hold on her body, on her shoulder and her waist, pulling her closer than ever when she said it to him. "I don't care if my heart shatters even more because for sure, that no matter what, no matter how hard I would try, there would only be you, for me." She pulled away a bit to look at him and smiled at him.

He looked at her straight in the eye and he can't stop the shiver that ran down his spine. Her words were really moving, honest and sincere and he felt horrible in thinking that she had spent some time with someone else's bed, being scared of his own ghost and sin. He pulled her head so he can consume her lips with his and kissed her passionately. Her words drove him crazy, feeling a rush of different emotions running through him. She spoke with such sincerity that he felt mad at himself for doubting her loyalty for him. In the other hand, he felt his chest tightening, fear coming to succumb within him, fear that he could no doesn't have any idea on what to do that if one day she was suddenly gone, that she had already made her way towards the very deep and bottom of his heart, that he won't be able to root her out that easily even if he is forced to do.

She had become part of him, shared his heart, his burden, every glorious moments in his life even to his downfall, she was there and never left him. She had become his very best friend, a teacher who had guided him in life, a sister who had always been so welcoming, a mother who had been always caring to him, most of all, she is his wife, the only person who had endured him to his worst and loved him to the fullest.

He kissed her with such want that she wanted to feel his lips work its miracle on her neck and she leaned her head back a little, and he did made his way there since she gave way. His hands moved towards her side as her hands traveled along his broad shoulders and maintained her balance on top of him.

When he stopped, Hanji knew nothing but to hug him earnestly as she closed her eyes in contentment, feeling his body's warmth on her. He settled his face by neck as she hears his breath by her ears and feel it along her cheek. She in return, buries her face by the side of his head, lightly giving him kisses there.

"I love you Hanj" he said softly, and Hanji nodded by their embrace. "I didn't believe him, it did bothered me but I don't want to believe him because he forgot to mention that every part of your body smelled like my saliva." He smirked when Hanji pulled away from her embrace on him and looked at him, eyes, dancing with delight, giggling at her best. She found his words corny if he is trying to make a joke but it was still enough to make her laugh a little.

He bit her neck lightly without breaking their stare, and it sure is turning her on but she's too tired and would just want to sleep it out instead.

Hanji clasped her hand into his neck in response, returning the hug but in a more gentle way than his.

"I'm sorry I worried you" she said softly.

"I thought you left me for good" he said in his tightened jaw, gripping her clothes on his balled hands.

"I tried not to and I didn't right?" she whispers to his ear.

"You were not there when I woke up"

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you or even left you a note." She stared at him with her lovely brown eyes, and it made his worry go away and feel calm again.

"I thought I'd never see you again" and hugs her again, having her face land on his shoulder as she balanced herself awkwardly bent onto the hold of his mechanical strong arm.

She squirmed away from Levi's embrace but he still had his arms on her waist and her hand on his neck, as though protecting each other from a serial killer.

"Are you okay?" Her eyes searched on his face, seeing if he has any bruises or cuts because it seemed like they didn't had such a great time together in her lab. Levi nodded.

Hanji stood away from him and took of her harness away and her pants. When she was about to remove her shirt to take off her bra, Levi went towards her and caught her wrist to stop moving. She just watched him remove her shirt effortless and removed her bra. When he looked at her, she smiled but she returned her shirt on but open, indicating she didn't want anything tonight but to sleep.

She turned to remove his harness and his pants off him, as she helped him slid his boxers on. She removed his cravat and placed it on top of their drawers. He smirked, making her feel relieved that he is fine not having steamy tonight together.

He scooped her suddenly on his arms and she let out a sudden gasped but managed to hold on to his neck for support. He carried her lovingly as he placed her in the bed and she pulled him into a tight hug, to end every horrible thing tonight and sleep it out together.

In the middle of their journey to sleep he suddenly spoke. "You do kissed like strawberries."

"What?"

Hanji's cheeks turned pink and showed her back to Levi, crossing her arms, feeling embarrassed.

"Yes, you do kiss like strawberries Shitty Glasses" and hugged her from the back, kissing her cheek lightly and kissed her teasingly on her shoulder. "And you look… fucking hot when you go crazy when I'm inside of you." He gave one last kiss on her shoulder for truth, at the same time, changing the eerie mood just moments ago into a teasing one.

"You should be aware and be kept reminded that you are the only one that I kiss and could make love with, Levi. No one else, only you" that made him lock his arms in her waist tightly, caressing his nose by her shoulder blades. "And you're so stupid for believing him. I was in the field trying to validate my experiments that time with my squad, and you say I'm having sex with him?" she snorted. He could at least ask her about that day first and her squad but he needed to know and it just killed him in the inside.

"I'm sorry." Hanji turns around to face him and placed her arms around the back of his neck.

"You're such a dork. I thought you already know that you are the only one I kissed and my only mate in my entire lifetime like crazy and haven't we even talked and agreed that you are the only one who I could cum with?" she tried to smile but it still irritated her, and he felt that little irritation from her. He looked into her eyes and he silently agreed, remembering during the years he is pursuing her, that she tells him that he is the only who could make her cum and that he knows it still applies to now, and forever. It made him pull her closer to him and hug her with earnest love.

He instead laughed to change the mood a bit as he remembered those years. "Your dork" and he leans his forehead on hers.

"My dork" she agrees and kisses him soundly on the mouth, before dozing off into a deep slumber.

-x-

I kinda don't know the difference between infirmary and medical ward so I just used them alternately here, I believe they have the same use anyway so I guess it doesn't matter that much. And yes, I believe there are still doctors in their present day.

And yeah, damn that was long. It took twenty-three pages in my word document file O.O

Hope you had fun reading this chapter and see yah in the next one.

**ladyinblack**


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